How to deal with backstabbers at work

By Joyce E.A. Russell / The Washington Post

Let's face it: Backstabbing happens at work all the time.

Backstabbers engage in underhanded tactics that make you look bad. Their actions-- such as turning the boss against someone -- can be vindictive, deceitful, sneaky, vengeful, nasty, conniving.

Sometimes backstabbers can be passive-aggressive. For example, someone tells you he’ll do something, but he never quite gets around to it. Or a co-worker says, “Sure, I’ll let the boss know you did most of the work on that project,” and then never does.

Generally, people engage in back-stabbing behaviors to gain something for themselves and gain power over you. Perhaps they are insecure or jealous of your success. They want to be noticed and think that you need to look bad or inept in order for them to look better.

When dealing with backstabbers, it’s important to maintain your positive sense of self
and don’t turn into a backstabber yourself. Some tips:

Assess the situation carefully. Don’t overreact or react too quickly before thinking through your response. Take time to write down what the person is saying and what you actually did. For example, if the backstabber says you didn’t spend much time on a project, then document the time you did spend.

Don’t underestimate a backstabber’s power. Don’t ignore the behavior or laugh it off, and don’t offend the person more.

Try calmly confronting the backstabber about his or her passive-aggressive behavior or negative comments. This is very tricky. Practice what you are going to say and how you are going to say it. Use a style that will work with the person without escalating the situation.

This could be an approach that starts with: “I really value our working relationship. Can you help me understand ….” Perhaps letting the person know you are aware of what he is doing is enough to get him to stop. Just be prepared for denials.

You might need to calmly share evidence that he or she has engaged in these behaviors, what the impact has been and what the consequences will be if they continue. It is important to keep a calm tone and demeanor and good eye contact.

Another option would be to calmly confront the backstabber in a public forum. For example, suppose he told you he supported your idea but then trashed it in a meeting. In the public meeting, you could (calmly and coolly) say something like: “I’m surprised to hear that you are not in favor of this idea since last week you told me you supported it.” Generally, backstabbers like to look good in public.

Make sure that others in the organization, particularly those at higher levels, know about your “real” accomplishments. It is important to spend a little more time networking or having lunch with superiors or other colleagues.

If the backstabber has told you that someone in the office doesn’t want to work with you, go to that person directly. Many times, a backstabber is making things up.

Seek the counsel of your mentor (if you have one), but be careful about what you say about the backstabber. Don’t overly trash the person. This is also a good opportunity to spend a little more time networking or having lunch with superiors or other colleagues.

Continue to demonstrate high levels of work performance.

Try befriending the backstabber and those who support him. It may seem like the last thing you would want to do, but it actually helps. People are less likely to engage in tactics against you if you are friends with them.

Take the high road. Don’t let it escalate to the point where both parties are seriously hurt, and no one wins. Fostering all that anger, frustration and vindictive behavior sucks up a lot of personal energy. It can be more damaging than the initial behaviors of the backstabber. Stay positive and confident for your own well-being.

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Backstabbers ... Backstabbers everywhere !

The wound is usually deep, wide, bleeds for a long time and is very hard to get over. I’m sure you have known a person who finds pleasure in inflicting this type of terrible pain on others. No? Sure you do! We call them backstabbers.

A backstabber is “A traitor or hypocrite, such as a co-worker or friend assumed trustworthy, but who verbally attacks when one’s back is turned.”These people may claim to be your “best friends” or a co-worker who has “got your back,” but they are really mean-spirited, gossiping liars. Backstabbers have a goal of personal gain or power and can cause real damage. Whether it is in your social circle or at work, the lies told by this type of person are damaging and often can’t be undone even if confronted and proven to be wrong.

I know that I am not the only person who has suffered from the words of a backstabber, so here are a few tips to help you avoid being in situations that can be quite unpleasant:

• Beware of people that “seem” ingenuous and believe your gut reaction.
• Remember there is a difference between friends and acquaintances. Especially recognize pushy people who want to get something from you all the time or have you do something for them constantly.
• Pay attention to the things that are going on around you.
• If you hear a rumor about yourself, immediately confront the people who are talking about you.
• Do not tell secrets to people who are known to have “loose lips” and can not keep a confidence.
• If someone betrays you, beware of ever trusting them again.
• If the backstabber goes too far with the slanderous gossip at work, speak to your boss, the human resources department or the backstabber’s boss. If the person is in your personal life, consider staying away from them and don’t mingle in the same social circles.
• Do not confront the backstabber face-to-face alone or in a secluded location.
• Do not under estimate the power of a backstabber.
• Since backstabbers are manipulators, be aware of how much you are doing for someone who doesn't ever reciprocate in an equally helpful way.

I have many knife scars in my back as I’m sure you do too, but I think I’m a better person because of them. Lessons learned the hard way are never forgotten, so I chalk it all up to that now. Just remember this…We can not change other people nor can we control their actions, but we can rise above them if we stay in control of our own actions.

by THE REDHEAD RITER

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Protect your eyelashes after wearing falsies?

To prevent dryness and damage, we give our tresses regular treatments. Same with your lashes. Due to the chemicals they’re exposed to, such as mascara, eyeliner, and lash glue, they too, need a breather and nourishment to keep them lush and healthy. 

I actually earned my certification in lash extensions from Lash beLong™ (the same company that makes Ardell Lashes) from the U.S. Let me share some vital info that’ll give deeper insight into lash care:

MASCARA

Take waterproof mascara, for example. Waterproof mascara is to lashes as hairspray is to hair. In order to hold the curl, especially in humid temperatures like in the Philippines, waterproof formulas are more effective, but also harsher on lashes. 

LASH EXTENSIONS

Lash extension is the process wherein a single false lash is glued onto a person’s individual lash. Just imagine carrying a dumbbell for a long period of time without rest. This same theory applies. Lashes can only take so much weight and tension. As a result, lashes break and fall off. 

Apart from this, most lash extension technicians are not properly trained. In the U.S., lash technicians are skillfully trained and certified before they can actually practice it as a profession. 

In many cases, unskilled lash technicians aren’t as patient and meticulous about gluing with a false-to-real lash ratio of 1:1. Others just glue the false lash strand onto two or onto a small clump. This strains your real lashes because they cannot grow out normally since they’re glued to the false lashes. 

LASH EXTENSION GLUE

Then there are some who don’t realize that they’re gluing the false lash strand to the actual lash root or skin, which should never be the case. Lash extension glue is not the same as your regular lash glue bought at beauty stores. It’s more potent in order for the false lashes to be more long-wearing, therefore they can cause more damage if they’re not used properly. 

LASH GLUE

Regular lash glue like DUO FILM, though safe to use, of course, still require us to be careful, especially when removing false lashes.

Since the skin around our eyes is very delicate and prone to the most damage like wrinkle formation, we should pull off false lashes with the least amount of force or tension. You can do this with either of the two steps:

For strip lashes (long false lash type):

1. Apply some oil-based make-up remover to weaken the lash glue, making it less uncomfortable to remove. Then hold your eyelid taut. Slowly pull off the false lashes, starting from the inner eye area going outward. 

2. If you’re used to wearing false lashes, you can skip the make-up remover and carefully remove it using the steps cited above. 

For flares (individual lash clumps):

1. Apply some oil-based make-up remover to weaken lash glue. Normally, just with this process alone, you should already easily make the flares come off.

2. In some cases, if flares are not pulled off with care without make-up remover, our own lashes come off, too. So best to do step 1 to be sure.

To keep our lashes from becoming dry and brittle, you can use lash serums as they’re infused with nourishing ingredients. They keep lashes strong and growing healthily. 

If you don’t have those, something as simple as olive oil does the trick! Conditioning our lashes with olive oil is like giving it a much-needed treatment. Rub in a drop or two after your regular night routine so it works its magic as you sleep.

COSMOPOLITAN BEAUTY 101

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Comedy King Dolphy passed away ..

By Chuck Smith | Yahoo! Southeast Asia Newsroom


Celebrities and fans alike were united in mourning after the passing of Rodolfo Vera Quizon Sr., more popularly known as the Comedy King Dolphy.

According to an earlier Yahoo! Philippines OMG! report, Dolphy passed away at the Makati Medical Center 8:34pm on Tuesday, July 10 after a bout with Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease.

The Comedy King was 83.

Shortly after the news broke, the keywords RIP Dolphy and Home Along Da Riles were among the Twitter trending topics both in the Philippines and worldwide.

Celebrities also expressed their condolences on the death of Dolphy on the social networking site.

“Rest in peace, my beloved Tito Dolphy. I will continue to do my best to follow the beautiful example you set for all of us, even when you didn't know it. I love you from the bottom of my heart. I miss you sooooo very much already. Showbiz has again lost one of its handful of truly talented and most decent members. You left us with so few who are like you. Your leaving has just made us all realize all the more how much we love you,” Sharon Cuneta posted on her Twitter account.

“R.I.P Ninong Dolphy. Thank you for making us laugh throughout the years. You will always be in our hearts. May your soul rest in peace,” tweeted Ruffa Gutierrez. The Kapatid actress was among the first to report on Twitter that the Comedy King has passed away. After news outfits confirmed the news, Ruffa explained she was with Eric Quizon, Dolphy’s son, at that time.

“We are here now in Bataan taping for TV5's ‪#EnchantedGarden. Direk Eric Quizon is our director. He left the set 30min ago. Hence my tweet,” Ruffa explained.

She added, “I don't tweet rumors. I verify the facts first. Now may I cry and be sad now?? Thank you.”

San Juan Representative JV Ejercito tweeted, “Goodbye Dolphy... Thank you for making all of us laugh! I was hoping that the National Artist Award was given to Dolphy when he was still alive.”

Writer-directors Jun Lana and Jose Javier Reyes took to Twitter to share their thoughts on the Comedy King.

“Mang Dolphy, ikaw ang pangalawang tahanan ko noong bata pa ako. Salamat sa John en Marsha. Salamat pinasaya mo ang kabataan ko. Paalam,” Lana said.

“Have a safe trip home to the arms of our father, Mang Dolphy. Your gift of laughter we shall treasure: your greatness will be remembered,” the director tweeted.

He added, “If there was one thing Dolphy taught us in the business, it is not only his perfect sense of timing. It is the greatness in his HUMILITY.”

Fellow comedians also posted their heartfelt tweets about the icon.

“Lord we thank you for giving us THE DOLPHY who unselfishly and passionately dedicated his whole life to make this world happy. Amen,” Vice Ganda tweeted.

“Heaven became a happier place today. The angels will be laughing together with our one and only King of Comedy. Rest in peace, friend,” Edu Manzano said.

The official Yahoo! Philippines Twitter account asked followers what their favorite Dolphy movie or TV show is. Among the favorites are “Home Along Da Riles,” the movie-turned-sitcom “John En Marsha,” and “Markova: Comfort Gay.”

A number of Twitter users felt Dolphy should have been named a National Artist before his passing.

“Pambansang Alagad ng Sining, the official National Artist title, is a 100 percent, perfect fit for Dolphy. Pambansa. Alagad. Sining,” Tonyo Cruz tweeted.

“National Artist. That's what he is to generations of Filipinos,” tweeted broadcast journalist Pia Hontiveros.

“More than half a century of laughter from dDlphy, the national artist of the people. we will pray for your passage into the light. Salamat!” tweeted writer Danton Remoto.

Yahoo! Philippines gave a fitting tribute to Dolphy during the 2nd Yahoo! OMG! Awards last July 6, Friday at the Mall of Asia Arena.

Dolphy’s remains will be brought to the Heritage Memorial Park. Among the first who arrived at Makati Medical Center to condole with the family were Makati Mayor Junjun Binay, Maricel Soriano, who worked with Dolphy in “John en Marsha” and Karylle, eldest daughter of Dolphy’s long-time partner, Zsa Zsa Padilla. – With a report by Jozza Palaganas

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Today is the National No Bra Day !

Boobies are Fantastic… We all think so. And what better way to express the way we feel than to support a full day of boobie freedom??

Women are magnificent creatures, and so are their breasts. Let us spend the day unleashing boobies from their boobie zoos.


Ladies, free your breasts for 24 hours by removing those dreadful (but at times oh-so-helpful) bras. Our perkiness should not be hidden. It is time that the world see what we were blessed with. Your breasts might be colossal, adorable, miniature, full, jiggly, fancy, sensitive, glistening, bouncy, smooth, tender, still blossoming, rosy, plump, fun, silky, Jello-like, fierce, jolly, nice, naughty, cuddly… But the most used word to describe your breasts on July 9th should be FREE!

Gentlemen, you can participate too! Your job will be to support us ladies by rocking something purple. It can be a purple tie, purple boxers, purple socks, the NNBD button or t-shirt.. If it is purple or with the NNBD logo, it supports us. (Your support means quite a lot to us…)

If wearing a bra on this day is absolutely necessary, you can definitely show your support by wearing something purple.

Yay for boobies!

P.S. Ladies…. Wearing a white t-shirt on this day is not only acceptable, but encouraged!


**Breast Cancer is something you should take seriously and be checked for.** 

***************************

Ladies , it's up to you . It's your own boobies freedom at risk here :))

Gentlemen , please do not take advantage of this day, okay? just sayin' 

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10 People with Unbelievable Medical Conditions

 The Woman Who has 200 Orgasms every day

UK's Sarah Carmen, 24, is a 200-a-day orgasm girl who gets good, good, GOOD vibrations from almost anything. She suffers from Permanent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (PSAS), which increases blood flow to the sex organs. "Sometimes I have so much sex to try to calm myself down I get bored of it. And men I sleep with don't seem to make as much effort because I climax so easily."

She believes her condition was brought on by the pills. "Within a few weeks I just began to get more and more aroused more and more of the time and I just kept having endless orgasms. It started off in bed where sex sessions would last for hours and my boyfriend would be stunned at how many times I would orgasm. Then it would happen after sex. I'd be thinking about what we'd done in bed and I'd start feeling a bit flushed, then I'd become aroused and climax. In six months I was having 150 orgasms a day—and it has been as many as 200."

She and her boyfriend split— and new partners struggle to keep up with her sex demands. "Often, I'll want to wear myself out by having as many orgasms as I can so they stop and I can get some peace," she said.

 The Man Who Can't Get Fat

Mr Perry, 59, can eat whatever he likes - including unlimited pies, burgers and desserts - and never get fat. He cannot put on weight because of a condition called lipodystrophy that makes his body rapidly burn fat.

He used to be a chubby child, but at age 12 the fat dropped off "almost over night". He initially tried to eat more to gain weight, but it had no effect. Mr Perry, of Ilford in Essex, endured a decade of tests before the illness was diagnosed. It finally emerged that his body produces six times the normal level of insulin. Doctors have admitted that the condition would be a "slimmer's dream".

 The Man Who Doesn't Feel Cold

Dutchman Wim Hof, also known as the Iceman, is the man that swam under ice, and stood in bins filled with ice. He climbed the Mt. Blanc in shorts in the icy cold, harvested world records and always stands for new challenges.

Scientists can't really explain it, but the 48-year-old Dutchman is able to withstand, and even thrive, in temperatures that could be fatal to the average person.

 The Boy Who Couldn’t Sleep: stayed awake 24 hours a day for years

Rhett Lamb is often cranky like any other 3-year-old toddler, but there’s one thing that makes him completely different: he has a rare medical condition in which he can’t sleep a wink.

Rhett is awake nearly 24 hours a day, and his condition has baffled his parents and doctors for years. They took clock shifts watching his every sleep-deprived mood to determine what ailed the young boy.

After a number of conflicting opinions, Shannon and David Lamb finally learned what was wrong with their child: Doctors diagnosed Rhett with an extremely rare condition called chiari malformation.

"The brain literally is squeezed into the spinal column. What happens is you get compression, squeezing, strangulating of the brain stem, which has all the vital functions that control sleep, speech, our cranial nerves, our circulatory system, even our breathing system," Savard said.

 The Girl Who is Allergic to Water

Teenager Ashleigh Morris can't go swimming, soak in a hot bath or enjoy a shower after a stressful day's work - she's allergic to water. Even sweating brings the 19-year-old out in a painful rash.

Ashleigh, from Melbourne, Australia, is allergic to water of any temperature, a condition she's lived with since she was 14. She suffers from an extremely rare skin disorder called Aquagenic Urticaria - so unusual that only a handful of cases are documented worldwide.

 The Woman Who Can’t Forget

That's the story of AJ, an extraordinary 40-year-old married woman who remembers everything.

McGaugh and fellow UCI researchers Larry Cahill and Elizabeth Parker have been studying the extraordinary case of a person who has "nonstop, uncontrollable and automatic" memory of her personal history and countless public events. If you randomly pick a date from the past 25 years and ask her about it, she’ll usually provide elaborate, verifiable details about what happened to her that day and if there were any significant news events on topics that interested her. She usually also recalls what day of the week it was and what the weather was like.

The 40-year-old woman, who was given the code name AJ to protect her privacy, is so unusual that UCI coined a name for her condition in a recent issue of the journal Neurocase: hyperthymestic syndrome.

 The Girl Who Eats Only Tic Tacs

Meet Natalie Cooper, a 17-year-old teenager who has a mystery illness that makes her sick every time she eats anything. Well, almost anything. She can eat one thing that doesn’t make her sick: Tic tac mint!

For reasons that doctors are unable to explain, Tic tacs are the only thing she can stomach, meaning she has to get the rest of her sustenance from a specially formulated feed through a tube.

 The Musician Who Can't Stop Hiccupping

Chris Sands, 24, from Lincoln, hiccups as often as every two seconds - and sometimes even when he is asleep. He has tried a variety of cures, including hypnosis and yoga, but nothing has worked. Mr Sands thinks his problem stems from an acid reflux condition caused by a damaged valve in his stomach. "If the acid levels are severe enough they are going to do keyhole surgery and grab part of my stomach and wrap it around the valveto tighten it," he said.

Mr Sands, who is a backing singer in the group Ebullient, said the condition has hampered his career as he has only been able to perform four times. In the next couple of weeks --as of the day of the report--, doctors at Nottingham's Queen's Medical Centre will put a tube into his stomach to monitor acid levels and decide if keyhole surgery is possible.

 The Girl That Collapses Every Time She Laughs

Kay Underwood, 20, has cataplexy, which means that almost any sort of strong emotion triggers a dramatic weakening of her muscles. Exhilaration, anger, fear, surprise, awe and even embarrassment can also cause sufferers to suddenly collapse on the spot.

Kay, of Barrow-upon-Soar, Leicestershire (UK), who was diagnosed with the condition five years ago, once collapsed more than 40 times in a single day. She said: "People find it very odd when it happens, and it isn't always easy to cope with strangers' reactions. "

Like most cataplexy sufferers, Ms Underwood is also battling narcolepsy - a condition that makes her drop off to sleep without warning. Narcolepsy affects around 30,000 people in the UK and about 70 per cent of them also have cataplexy.

 The Woman Who is Allergic to Modern Technology

For most people talking on a mobile phone, cooking dinner in the microwave or driving in a car is simply part of modern living in 21st century Britain. But completing any such tasks is impossible for Debbie Bird - because she is allergic to Cell Phones and Microwaves.

The 39-year-old is so sensitive to the electromagnetic field (emf) or 'smog' created by computers, mobile phones, microwave ovens and even some cars, that she develops a painful skin rash and her eyelids swell to three times their size if she goes near them. As a consequence, Mrs Bird, ahealth spa manager, has transformed her home into an EMF-free zone to try and stay healthy. 'I can no longer do things that I used to take for granted,' Mrs Bird said. "My day-to-day life has been seriously affected by EMF".

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Voted "Mommy ng Bayan"

At first I was so hesitant to call her the way others do ..

Mommy ! Mommy Aimee !

Baka isipin nya feeling close nman ako ..

Ang ganda nya kasi swear ! Nakakailang !

Pero un ung iaadmire mo sa kanya :))

Kung gaano kaganda ung makikita mong panlabas na itsura nya ,

Mas bongga pa ung kagandahang asal nya !

Sobrang humble ! kalog ! approachable ! fashionizta ..

A truly One Hot Momma !

Una ko syang nakausap nung kumain ung team namen sa Banchetto 

after nung Badminton game nmen , 

Sobrang attentive listener tlaga sya ! Kaya nga binibiro sya nila Sir Vlad na 

para daw syang si Margie Holmes kasi nga tango ng tango .

Sarap nya kakwentuhan kc di sya madamot magshare ng experiences nya and what I really admire about her is that di sya namimili ng taong pinakikisamahan at 

never ko syang narinig na nang-judge ng tao kaya nga you can be just yourself pag kausap mo sya :))

Lagi ko ngang sinasabi kay Mamark na sana kagaya ako ni Mommy Aimee 

pag naging mommy na ko .

Ayoko rin magmukang losyang saka gusto ko maging kasing fashionizta ni Mommy !

Sayang wala akong picture nya dito so you can see what I'm talking about ^^
I-imagine nyo nalang si Beth Tamayo na parang si Mariel Rodriguez !

Ayoko rin ng malayo ang gap ko sa mga future kids ko ..

Saka gusto ko sweet pa rin kame ng Husband ko kahit ilan pa maging anak namen

(preferably 3 lang!) pang sila Mommy Aimee at Daddy Harry !

The best tlaga Love Story nila :)

(eto na pla ung picture ni Mommy Ammie .. oh ano say mo?)

Ang plangak nyan .. aalis na sila ni Daddy Harry (dito rin sa Spicus nagwowork ang Hubby nya)

mahabang kwento kung bakit sila aalis basta ang sure ako ..

madaming malulungkot .. at nalungkot nung malamn to !

Ang bilis kc eh ! 3 months lang namin sila nkasama ..

Sobrang bitin ! Saka grabe na ung bonding namin sa kanila .

Nakakalungkot lang tlga kc marami pa sana kaming pwedeng pagkwentuhan ..

maranasan at pagsaluhan pero sabi nga nila Some good thing never last .

Di naman dito napuputol ang frindship ko sa "Hottest Momma ng Spicus"

May FB pa naman at chwiter saka G+

To Mommy Aimee and Daddy Harry ,

We love you and Bon Voyage !

This is a Screenshot of her message to our Team:

Yizz ! We call our team .. Team Bading !

Lahat ng kabaklaan nasa team na namin ^^ hahaha !

Pati mga tahimik sa team namin walang magawa :)

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