KPOP Gay Lingo

This blog post in inspired by the new blog of my very good friend, Poyt, called Beki-in-Manila. It’s a very informative blog if you wanna know the latest gay lingo in town (because just like pokemon, it evolves). So just for the lulz and the heck of it, I decided to come up with my own gay lingo, inspired by some KPOP celebrities. I swear you should start using them because they’re very useful!

WARNING: This is just crack so if you’ll get offended, here’s one peso. Go buy yourself some sense of humor.

Example: Ay! Nakita mo ba ang merli (babae) sa party kagabi?! In fairness, ang GANDAra Park! Talong-talo ka na, bakla. May matres pa sya.

Example: Hoy echoserang palaka! Bakit mo tine-text ang BoA ko?! Gusto mong ma-uppercut?

Example: Ay day, ka-turn off yung date ko! Sobrang chopopo (guwapo) pero ma-DONGHO and hininga!!! Parang dedz na daga.

Example: Ateywa, nag-wagi ka sa raffle! Mag-uuwi ka daw ng pangkabuhayan showcase. Brand-new funeraria! Ahahaha! JOKEwon!

Example: Sino’ng bading?! Nakaka-lalaki ka ha! PAKYU-chun, pare! PAKYU-chun kalima!

Example: Beki 1: Mudra, I have a bonggang problem! Namatayan ako! Ahuhuhu. Beki 2: ONEW?!? Beki 1: Oo, ng kuko sa paa! Beki 2: PAKYU-chun.

Example: Shutang-inamek nagpa-picture ako dun sa cosplayer kanina, ma-DONGHO pala in real life! Kaloka lakas ng BIG BANG!!!

Example: ONEW?! Inaaway ka, beks!? Kapal ng fez literal. Everyday foundation day kasi!! Hindi nya ba alam na ikaw ang reyna ng mga kim BITCHul?! Sirain natin ang buhay, bet mo?!

Ahahahaha. I don’t care if others like it or not but I had fun making these~ Watch our for moooaaar, kids! And for realz, Imma be using them in real life. Just wait for it on my Facebook statuses. Thanks for reading, kim BITCHuls! See those twitter and FB buttons? Click ‘em and spread the gay!

Credits to : Ms. Kring Elenzano of Funny is the New Sexy

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Korean Make-Up for the Filipina

Last March 3, we held the first-ever Korean 101 with Ms. Cherish Maningat-Bae and one of the classes in the whole-day session was “Korean make-up for the Filipina”. Cherish shared with us in detail how we can pull off the whole “no-make-up-flawless-look” that Korean women are known for (as opposed to the very Western “check-me-out-and-my-colored-face-look”).

It’s the magic of BB Cream, really but the problem is, according to Cherish, we, not-so-mestiza Pinays really have no room in the world of Korean cosmetics because many of their products have pinkish tone/base and/or are really light-colored. Apparently, even the tone of the BB cream that I had been using did not fit my yellow tone. I’ve stopped using it since LOL.

The internet is full of horrible LIES!!!

I did her tutorial on my own and in fairness, IT WORKED LIEK WHOAH! I looooved it so much so I’m sharing it for you guys (with her permission, of course). I’ll also alter some things and use my own make-up, just for the touch of Kring. Are you ready? [click to enlarge the photos]

1. Start with a clean face. Yes, that’s how I look like without anything on my face at all. Literally. Not even the healing tool of Photoshop. Please excuse my ugly face.

2. Apply moisturizer or face emulsion/lotion. I’m using Elianto’s Green Tea & Chamomile. Cherish recommended that we apply it by lightly slapping it on the face as that helps massage the muscles and tighten the skin. You may also apply sunblock over the moisturizer.

3. Your base is the most important element and it has to be for the yellow toned-skin (if you’re the usualkayumanggi Pinay). This is The Face Shop’s Phytogenic Infinite Make-up Base. It’s colored green because I want to look like Hulk. Just kidding. It’s for the yellow tone. The purple one is for the pinkish tone. Dab it around your face evenly until it’s settled on your skin.

4. Next (and I’ve never heard of this before), with your concealer, draw a vertical straight line across your face. Spread it on your cheekbones too and a bit under your eye. Your goal is to look like an aborigine or something. I’m using Missha’s Under Eye Brightener.

5. Spread it evenly with a sponge (or fingers, whatever floats your boat) up until it covers your eyebags.

6. On the remaining uncovered area is where you apply your liquid foundation. I’m using Maybelline’s Pure Liquid Mineral BO1. Behold the most beautiful woman in Novaliches!

Apparently, this technique is all about HIGHLIGHTING instead of SHADOWING. Normally, you would darken the cheek and jaw area to create contour but by doing this, you would still have the curves, except your face is brighter!

7. Now spread and blend everything evenly like a madafakkaaa!!!

8. Cherish doesn’t use powder (as it makes her face oilier, she said) but I’m setting mine withMaybelline’s Pure Foundation Mineral Natural Perfecting Powder Foundation B02.

Maybelline cosmetics in the Philippines set REALLY WELL on our skin because (as I was informed) it’s manufactured specifically for Southeast Asian skin. FYI, I was not paid by anyone for this post though I think they should LOL.

9. Now that we’re done with our “base”, let’s add life and color into it! First, the eyebrows… You can use whatever you want, really. I’m currently using In 2 It’s Waterproof Eyebrow Colour (the lightest shade).

10. Use a light-colored eye shadow (since this is for “day make-up”. If you have the 3-color palette, choose the one in the middle. This is Avon’s True Color Coffee Browns Quad and for today, I’m choosing the 2nd color.

Cherish’s tip: The shadow should darker/heavier from inner part of the eyelid going out.

11. Get your eyelash curler and make those lashes fly away!

12. Line your eyes. Make sure the spaces between your lashes are blackened, too. THIS IS CRUCIAL. Eyeliner makes your eyes pop out and it really depends on your preference, how you want to do it. Just don’t over-do it as you want to look pretty, not emo. I’m using the Max Factor’s Mechanical Eyeliner Black.

Also, not because you want to achieve the Korean look does it mean you should make your eyes smaller. That’s B.S.

13. It’s mascara time! If I need to be on stage or in front of the camera, I’d normally use falsies because they are made of so much awesomeness. Otherwise, I’d just use a normal mascara. Currently lovesMaybelline’s The Magnun Volum’ Express Waterproof.

14. Cherish also doesn’t use blush but I do because WHY THE HELL NOT?! This is In 2 It’s Waterproof Blush Set MB04 Sentiment. Just brush it lightly across your cheeks!

15. Last part, the lips! I’m a big fan of color and I go crazy with it. However, if you’d like to achieve the subtle Korean look, use a very light color or even just a lip tint. I’m using Coastal Scents 32-lip Pallete(mixing up my pink).

16. Seal it with a nice lip gloss. Of you choice! Mine’s currently Max Factor’s Lipfinity (the top coat).

And viola! That’s Korean Make-Up for the Filipina, Cherish Bae-style. Hahaha. There’s another version for the night make-up but I’d share it next time.

This is the first time that you’ve seen my forehead, yeah?

Let it be known that this is not the only way of dong it. We’re sure there are many tutorials out there on YouTube. Also, please do not expect that you’d magically look like Song Hye Kyo after you’re done. I know I didn’t look like a Korean (and I have no intentions anyway) but not bad, eh?

Thanks, Cherish for your info and insights!

Credits to Ms. Kring Elenzano of Funny is the New Sexy

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Think Green !

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Soon to be Graduating BLUES

Fresh Grad Blues (Isang Pagse-senti ng Gutom)

Biyernes ng madaling araw, alas tres. Nanunuyot na ang mga mata mo’t nagsusumigaw na pahingahin mo na sila. Ilang oras ka na rin namang nakatutok sa encyclopediang binabasa mo, este compilation pala ng mga photocopied articles tungkol sa mga kaso laban sa COMELEC. Ang dugo mo ay pinag-halong kape at Extra Joss at ang iyong mga labi, bestfriend na si Marlboro. Walang humpay ang kaibigan mo (na eventually naging kaaway mo na naging kaibigan mo ulit) sa kaka-text sa ‘yong i-email mo na yung Chapter 5 ng thesis dahil toka mo yun.

Sounds familiar?

Ito tayong lahat ilang buwan bago ang graduation. Feeling natin sobrang busy na ng buhay, para bagang napagkaisahan ng mga guro, paaralan at buong educational system na pahirapan ang mga malapit nang mag-martsa sa entablado at pilitin silang sumuko sa laban. Pero hindi, hindi maaari. Dahil sa dulo ng lahat, may nag-aabang na pa-premyo – isang diploma (at kung swerte ka, medalya pa).

Sa apat na taong iginugol natin sa unibersidad, lagi tayong sinasabihan na mas mahirap sa “real world”. Na kakainin tayo ng mga pating at lalapain ng mga leon. Sulitin daw ang mga nalalabing panahon pagkat minsan ka lang maging kolehiyo.

Pero bakit nga ba ang tigas ng ating ulo? Bakit ba kating-kati na tayong maging “independent” at kumita ng sariling pera? Kung alam lang siguro natin ang mga nag-aabang sa labas ng institusyong humubog sa’tin, marahil ay magkikita-kita tayong muli sa enrollment, at sa sumunod pa, at sa mga susunod pa, forevermore.

Kung alam lang siguro natin na may mga kupal na boss na hindi nakokontento sa kakayahan ng mga “hamak na fresh-grad”, baka minahal natin ng lubusan ang ating mga propersor, bading man, menopausal, kalbo o combination of the three, na tumulak sa atin upang maging magaling. Choose the lesser kupal, kumbaga.

Kung alam lang siguro natin na sa totoong buhay, halos araw-araw ay may presentations at deadlines kung saan nakasalalay ang iyong career, marahil ay hindi natin binale-wala ang mga recitations at reportings kasi kung pressure lang ang pag-uusapan, walang binatbat ang huli.

Kung alam lang siguro natin na hindi naman tayo yayaman agad dahil lang sumisweldo na at hindi na rin magbibigay ng allowance ang mga magulang natin, baka mas nag-ipon tayo dati at hindi winaldas ang pera sa mga walang kapararakang bagay tulad ng DOTA at mamahaling kape.

Kung alam lang siguro natin na ibang level ang senority, politika at crab mentality sa opisina at industriya, baka mas trineasure natin ang ating mga ka-klase at kaibigan na kahit ano mang mangyari, alam mong nariyan lang para sa ‘yo, handang makinig, rumesbak at magpautang.

Kung alam lang siguro natin na mas mahirap palang sumagot ng tawag 24/7, mag-produce ng sariling show at plugs per week, mangumbinsi at magpaliwanag sa mga kliyente gabi-gabi, magpatakbo ng business araw-araw at magturo ng mga Koryanong may amoy, kesa magbasa ng tula, magsulat ng reaction papers, mag-conceptualize ng ads o mangopya sa quizzes, marahil ay hindi na natin ginustong grumaduate o tumapak pa sa labas ng Uste.

At hindi ka pala humaharap sa buhay na hawak ang diploma’t mga tropeyo mo o may medalyang nakasabit sa leeg mo. Huhusgahan ka pa rin pala sa iyong pagkatao at galing, hindi sa grades. Mapapaisip ka tuloy, “E bakit ko pa minemoize yun? Badtrip.”

Una kong na-encounter ang ABNKKBSNPLAko nung first year college pa ‘ko. Kamakailan lang binilhan ko ang daddy ko ng kopya at binalikan ang mga words of wisdom ni Bob Ong. Umiyak ako. Sobra-sobra. Hindi mapigilan. Sa wakas, naunawaan ko rin ang mga sinabi niya.

Fresh grad blues siguro itong pinagdaraanan natin. Sa loob ng isang taon, tiyak ko wala no ‘to – naka-adapt na naman siguro tayong lahat sa panahon na ‘yon. Pero hanggang sariwa pa ang pangungulila natin sa isa’t isa, hayaan niyo akong magpasalamat sa pinagsamahan natin- sa mga luha at tawanan at aral at katarantaduhan at higit sa lahat, sa pagkakaibigan.

CREDITS TO: http://funnysexy.ph/2007/08/fresh-grad-blues-isang-pagse-senti-ng-gutom/

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A letter to myself 10 years from now...

When I was in 5th or 6th grade, I started to keep a journal where I wrote down all my thoughts and secrets. From my frustrations with the exam results, to my friend’s story that she’s being molested by her lolo, to my own version of chicken soup for the soul, except mine’s tuknene and isaw. It would’ve been nice if I can read again what I wrote then and maybe tap into my old self. Unfortunately, however, I’m an idiot who buried that journal in our backyard (in a “time capsule”) and we have since built a new house over it.

Much thanks to the internet, I can now keep a journal and read it anytime, anywhere. And so, I’ve decided to write a letter, addressed to my self ten years from now. By then, I’d be old enough to have a family, and maybe, just maybe… I’d still be very happy.

Dear older Kring,

How are you? I honestly hope and pray that you’re doing well and that things have turned out the way you planned them to. Have you seen the world yet? I know you have always wanted to do that, to get out of this place, not to run away from it all but to experience the world as it was made to be. By now, I’d assume you’ve been to Japan, Australia and The Holy Land already. Okay, the last one may be a stretch but I at least wish you’re well-traveled.

Okay, this is really what I want to know- are you on your way to being the first female to ever create an empire in the country/region? Please, I beg of you, do not tell me you’re still doing segments and small shows like the ones I’m doing now because you know you can do much better. EMPIRE. Don’t you dare forget. EMPIRE. And how many films have you done already? Have you won awards yet? Please tell me you’ve also met and your heroes Gwak Jae Young, Wong Kar Wai and Iwai Shunji or have at least done something that would make them proud. EMPIRE.

And I don’t know if you’re still a ball of cheese (as I am now) but have you met the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Was he worth the wait? Are his kisses alone enough to make you remember that despite all the bad things in life, it’s still worth living? Is it really… overrated (you know what I’m talking about)? Dear, I hope that you’re not yet jaded with love, with true love. You once strongly believed in its power to transform lives and make people aspire to be better. And if ever you’ve lost that sparkle in your eyes, allow me to smack you on the head, grab you by the shoulders and shake you violently. If you got hurt, both emotionally and physically, have been in bad relationships, had your heart broken many times over, do know that things happen for a reason. And as your friend once said, “there’s plently of booze, tissue and friends”. You are beautiful and you are worth a lot (hence, you waited that long). Do not let anyone make you believe otherwise.

And yes, you have an awesome family who’ve raised you well and will be there for you no matter what. I sure hope you haven’t done anything that would disappoint them or make them cry. May you be there to take care of them as they’ve taken care of you. Also, don’t hesitate to punch your brother in the face and if he does drugs or beats his girlfriend or other stupid things like that. I can do it for you.

And friends. They go in and out of our lives. Do you still get to see the friends you grew up with? I have a feeling they’re in different parts of the world already but do keep in touch. They’ll never fail you as they’ve known you since you were playing Chinese garter. Oh, by the way, are they married already? Has some of them come out of the closet yet?

Lastly, and I wish you didn’t fail me on this one, I hope you still regularly pray and continue to believe in Him. Let me remind you that you’ve been blessed with the three things that you need to survive in this world: faith, family and friends. Be grateful and treasure them. And just in case you might have forgotten, maybe out of stress and the craziness of the real world, HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE. I hope you’ve chosen right.

In love, beauty and happiness,
younger Kring

CREDITS TO: http://funnysexy.ph/2008/10/a-letter-to-myself-10-years-from-now/

Inspiring... After my graduation, I promise to have my own one ^^

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