How To Survive When Relationship Breaks Down

Relationship is a beautiful feeling and a wonderful experience. One tends the relationship as one cares for a tender plant. One gives ones whole being to the relationship. The breakdown therefore becomes unbearable. How to survive relationship breakdown?

1. Stop Thinking About why?

Most of the people who suffer with breakdown of relationship keep thinking about the reasons. They analyze again and again. Their mind keeps thinking of the reasons the relationship broke down. They speak to their family and friends and seek their opinion. Sometimes they find that their partner was guilty and other times they blame themselves. This is an unending process. There is no use analyzing the reasons. At least do not do that immediately after the breakdown. You can peacefully do that after about a year to make an unemotional analysis.

2. Do things differently-

I have observed that all of us have habit of doing our daily chores in the same way everyday. Watch when you step out of your home. Which leg do you lift first? You will do this everyday. Similarly watch the way you brush your teeth, your sleeping position, the way you wear your clothes. You will find that you have programmed yourself to do everything in the same way everyday. When you have a relationship breakdown, try reversing all the orders. If it is your left leg that you lift first while walking, lift your right leg. You will be surprised at the new experience of doing everything differently. This breaks the monotony of life and gives mind a new direction in thinking.

It is not very easy to survive breakdown easily. The higher the attraction, the higher will be the shock. The closer you are, the break up will give you more shock. Some out of us expect the relationship to break sooner or later. They are pessimists and call themselves practical. These people are never surprised if the relationship breaks. They may wonder about the reasons but will not suffer trauma. On the other extreme, we have some people who believe that they are made for each other and that the relationship, the loyalty and the faithfulness will last for the life and if possible beyond. Such people are vulnerable to pain and may need psychiatric help.

readmore »»

Tips on How to Save Your Relationship From a Break Up

For saving your relationship from a break up, the first thing that you need to do is to talk to your partner. There is no conflict or issue in a relationship, which cannot be resolved through talking. If you are not talking to each other, then I suggest that you take the initiative and call your partner. Remember, ego should never ever come in between love. At the same time, when you do talk to your partner, don't sound or look desperate. Do not beg them to stay in the relationship. Instead, simply call up and see whether he/she wants to meet you. If he says yes, consider it a positive sign. If he says no, ask how he is doing and make some small talk. Wait for about a week and then again ask him out. Do not rush things as it will show how desperate you are. Instead, be in control of the situation, by acting maturely and patiently.

Presuming that you two are on talking terms again and your partner has agreed to meet you, the next thing that you both should do is to sit together and analyze what went wrong in the relationship. Here, an important tip to save your relationship from breaking up is to discuss things and not blame one another. Respect, trust, love and open communication, these are the hallmarks of a successful relationship. So, treat your partner with respect and listen to their viewpoint with an open mind. Arrive at the reasons which drove both of you apart and then find solutions for the same together.

Generally, it is seen that relationships fall apart when the partners are not able to give time to one another. With the hectic lifestyles that most of us lead these days, it is no wonder that partners hardly get one to one time on a daily basis. Many of us spend more time with our colleagues as compared to our own spouses. The result? Breakdown of relationships at home and the tendency towards having flings with co-workers or anyone else a person comes in contact with while out of home. So, to avoid all these and to save your relationship, spend quality time with your partner. Go on romantic dates and holidays as you used to when you first fell in love. Join a dance or any other hobby class together so that you can have fun in each other's company. This will certainly help in improving the bond that you two share.

Sometimes, relationships get strained if one of the persons is over possessive and jealous. Both these can be detrimental to one's relationships. Every man and woman in a relationship should remember that the other person has a life beyond the relationship. Respecting each other's space, giving them an opportunity to be themselves and explore various things in life, rather than constraining them, can actually build a strong foundation of trust in the relationship.

Lastly, if things are really out of hand and you two have some issues for which you can't find a solution, it is best that you go in for relationship counseling. A counselor will talk to both of you individually as well as a couple. He can get to the bottom of why you are experiencing problems and suggest some good solutions for the same.

For a relationship to be successful, both the partners should be physically, emotionally and intellectually compatible. Have a frank talk amongst yourself, try to understand what is lacking in your relationship and then work on it. As mentioned earlier, having fun together is extremely important too. So, try adventure sports or read together or go on a holiday. These things will definitely strengthen your bond. In the end, it would pay to keep in mind that some relationships work and some don't. So, even if you two are not able to make your relationship a success, do not be disheartened. Keep an open mind and remember - whatever happens in life, happens for the best!

By Aastha Dogra
Published: 5/12/2011

readmore »»