23 July 2012

Backstabbers ... Backstabbers everywhere !


The wound is usually deep, wide, bleeds for a long time and is very hard to get over. I’m sure you have known a person who finds pleasure in inflicting this type of terrible pain on others. No? Sure you do! We call them backstabbers.

A backstabber is “A traitor or hypocrite, such as a co-worker or friend assumed trustworthy, but who verbally attacks when one’s back is turned.”These people may claim to be your “best friends” or a co-worker who has “got your back,” but they are really mean-spirited, gossiping liars. Backstabbers have a goal of personal gain or power and can cause real damage. Whether it is in your social circle or at work, the lies told by this type of person are damaging and often can’t be undone even if confronted and proven to be wrong.

I know that I am not the only person who has suffered from the words of a backstabber, so here are a few tips to help you avoid being in situations that can be quite unpleasant:

  • Beware of people that “seem” ingenuous and believe your gut reaction.
  • Remember there is a difference between friends and acquaintances. Especially recognize pushy people who want to get something from you all the time or have you do something for them constantly.
  • Pay attention to the things that are going on around you.
  • If you hear a rumor about yourself, immediately confront the people who are talking about you.
  • Do not tell secrets to people who are known to have “loose lips” and can not keep a confidence.
  • If someone betrays you, beware of ever trusting them again.
  • If the backstabber goes too far with the slanderous gossip at work, speak to your boss, the human resources department or the backstabber’s boss. If the person is in your personal life, consider staying away from them and don’t mingle in the same social circles.
  • Do not confront the backstabber face-to-face alone or in a secluded location.
  • Do not under estimate the power of a backstabber.
  • Since backstabbers are manipulators, be aware of how much you are doing for someone who doesn't ever reciprocate in an equally helpful way.

I have many knife scars in my back as I’m sure you do too, but I think I’m a better person because of them. Lessons learned the hard way are never forgotten, so I chalk it all up to that now. Just remember this…We can not change other people nor can we control their actions, but we can rise above them if we stay in control of our own actions.


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