12 December 2011



1. Without quality time, your relationship will not survive. Carve out at least half an hour a night, and at least one day a month when you the two of you spend time exclusively together.

2. You will both need security, comfort. A good relationship is built on compromise and a great deal of give and take on both sides.

3. Keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell and show your partner how much you need him, but don't cling, as that can make your partner feel trapped.

4. Encourage him to listen to you, by showing appreciation when he does. By the same token, show interest when he talks to you. Be aware that most men aren't mentally programmed for conversation in the way women are. They need more silence and internal time.

5. Make him appreciate you. Don't wait for a spontaneous compliment, but say something good about yourself and ask for his agreement.

6. Teach him, preferably early in your relationship, exactly how to give you a fail-safe orgasm because it's unlikely he'll find out alone. If you don't yet know yourself, find out.

7. Learn to do the one thing that is most likely to restore good feeling in your relationship - giving your partner a genuine, loving and approving smile.

8.Often those subtle quirks that first attracted you to your partner can, with time, turn around and become toe-curlingly annoying habits. Learn to love him, warts and all.

9. Hidden resentments poison a relationship; so if something bothers you, say it. Remember that while men are wary of emotional conversations, they love to find solutions. Express your problem and then ask him to help you find the answer.

10. Learn that punishing your partner won't work. It may make you feel better to give him a hard time, but it will actually make him dig his heels in more. A better tactic is to reward the things you like and ignore what you don't like.

11. Money is the number one cause of couple conflict. For a relationship to work, you need to address your finances and work out a budget. You could also read Stop Fighting About Money by Corinne Sweet (Hodder & Stoughton,£6.99)

12. If the domestic work is not divided fairly between you, it will cause friction in your relationship. Make a list of the domestic tasks, talk it through with your partner and mobilise the whole family, your partner included, to share the work.

13. If you have children, involve your partner as much as possible with the childcare - even if you feel he's not as good as it at you are. It's important to present a united front to your children.

14. Sort out your sex life. The sex may ebb and flow over the years, but if sex starts going downhill, don't just accept it. As soon as you notice a slide, question why and then work at bringing the passion back.

15. Don't assume you won't be tempted to have an affair as almost everyone is. You need to learn to resist. If you do stray, don't feel it spells the end of your relationship. Most couples recover, particularly from a one-night-stand, and often find that unrooting the cause of the affair helps them to get even closer. So, you need to learn to resist. But don't think that an affair is the end of everything.

16. Remember that boredom typically covers up anger. If you feel bored with him, ask yourself what you're angry about.

17. Be aware that men generally feel overwhelmed by emotion more than women do. If he's angry or tearful, half an hour's 'unflooding' time to himself will help get his balance back and make him more able to interact positively with you.

18. Learn how to argue well. The trick is to never say anything that you wouldn't want to hear said to you. For extra help, read my book, Stop Arguing Start Talking (Vermilion, £6.99).

19. Research suggests you need five positive experiences to erase the memory of one negative experience. So give five kind words for each bitchy comment. Give five hugs for each cold shoulder.

20. Learn how to negotiate. Each of you states what you want, then both of you work together to find a way forward. Read, Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher (Arrow, £8.99).

21. Accept the things that won't change. Some characteristics about your partner are there for life - and you have to face that.

22. Learn to forgive. If you know you will never forgive your partner over something important, then give him - and yourself - a break and start again, with someone else.

23. Realise that the two of you will shift and change over the years. So, even if you think you understand him, or believe you have agreements sorted, check regularly - at least once a year - to make sure that neither of you has changed your mind.

24. Know when to leave. If your life aims are incompatible, there are heavy drugs or violence around, or if there is consistently more pain than pleasure, then walk before the relationship destroys you.

25. Don't think that going to counselling equals failure. It can turn a bad relationship around. It can turn an average relationship into a brilliant one.

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7 Undeniable Facts About Making Your Relationship Work


Fact #1: You can’t have a relationship, a real relationship, if you don’t communicate with each other. One way street is not the way to build relationship… unless it’s with yourself.

Fact #2: To accept the other person into your life, you have to open yourself up to that person. You have to meet and interact with that person. Living in emotional ivory tower simply isn’t going to work.

Fact #3: Relationships involves investing emotions, not just a mere list of “To Do”. You have to put in your feelings. Passion is like added spice to a bland dish, and so is shared intimacy to different degrees. Giving flowers or cards just because it’s a scheduled task on your organizer can only get you superficial gestures in return.

Fact #4: To build quality relationship, you have to willingly share good times and bad times with each other. Every time you are together, its in the ups or the downs of your life. Let it be shared with the worthy one. Fair weathered people not allowed here.

Fact#5: Being in a relationship does require you to both compromise sometimes. You will have to adjust to each other, making time and taking in differing viewpoints.

Each individual will end up shaping the other. Our life experiences and character will be infused within the lifestyle of the other. If no compromise is made, then it will be like a rock ramping against a brick. Never expect to be unchanged by someone you truly love.

Fact #6: To make it work long term, your values and beliefs must be accepted or the least, appreciated by each other. Otherwise, it will be full of turmoil within. A simple flutter of life’s waving hands and it will crumple.

Fact #7: Relationships involve changes and hence incur risk. Understand that everybody changes and nothing will always be the same. But you have to accept the risk as part of life and in relationship.

Yet the irony is, you can’t build a truly real relationship by being ‘safe’. Risk is sometimes what makes a relationship worth having and pursuing. It’s what makes relationships so alluring and beautiful.

Go on, strive to make it work. Make, not just your life, but also your relationship excel beyond excellence.

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How to Be a Good Girlfriend


  1. Be honest. While being honest to your guy is very important, to the point of being paramount, it is equally important that you are honest with yourself. If you overreact or make a mistake, you can acknowledge your error and apologize. If you're feeling vulnerable or upset, you can sort through your feelings and verbalize them to him in a non-accusing way. And the most important here, is that you will open your feelings as much as possible. For example, if someone crushes you, tell him immediately for you two not to have problems as much as possible.
  2. Have a positive attitude. If everything you say around him is a criticism or an attack, he will not look forward to seeing you. However, you don't always have to agree with him just because he is your boyfriend. Tactfulness is a better strategy in mature relationships. No matter what, have a good sense of humor. Have inside jokes together. Be spontaneous. Be happy.
  3. Make your desires, needs, and opinions known, even when they may conflict with his. You don't and shouldn't exist solely to please him. Besides, showing that you are your own person with your own needs, desires, and approach to life will keep him interested in getting to know and understand you as a person. Just remember to express yourself in way that doesn't attack anyone else's opinion or lifestyle in any way--you can be humble and outspoken at the same time.
  4. Take an interest in his interests. Remember his interests and topics of conversation. You don't have to act like you love his hobbies, but at least try to understand why he's such a fan. If he loves a band, understand why. If he just loves to be playful and immature, remember that it might just be his way of releasing stress.
    • Make him something. A paper flower, an artsy heart, something creative that reflects your personality, so whenever he looks at it he'll think of you and smile. If you the musical type, or play an instrument, feel free to play him some songs (bonus points if you play a song you wrote yourself!). Watch him melt and he will remember this for a long time.
  5. Let him live his life. If you feel entitled to all of his time and attention, learn how to not be an obsessive girlfriend. Don't be an "over protective girlfriend" let him go out without him feeling watched. Remember that he doesn't need you for everything and that you are separate people as well as a couple. When he needs some space, don't take it personally. But do make sure he knows that you are always there for him.
  6. Be yourself Don't lie to impress him, don't try to make him jealous, don't lead him on if you're not into everything. Those things are wrong, and if you feel the need to do that then you don't know the meaning of a true relationship. Be honest and open with him. If the two of you are mature then you will handle it correctly.
  7. Be seductive. Don't be afraid to be seductive. Men find it irresistible when a girl is sexy, classy, and confident. Remember - confidence is the ultimate type of sexy, and guys pick up on that.
  8. Don't be insecure about your appearance. If he's dating you he obviously thinks you're attractive.
  9. It's all about giving. Boys love to receive gifts and it shows that he means a lot to you. Don't overdo it though, you don't want him to think you're crazy!
  10. Dominance. When you're out on a dinner date and he offers to pay, refuse. It shows that you aren't just in it for his money.
  11. Affection. There are various ways to show your affection, some are more obvious than others. Men sometimes like it when a girl gives them a pet name. eg: Baby or Sweetheart. Try not to overdo this, however. This can be a major turn-off if you call them Mr. Cuddle-Bear. Also, communication is a vital part of a relationship (obviously) so make sure that he knows how much you like him. Constant lovey dovey texts and emails can be a plus, but too many will become overwhelming and you may seem clingy. They do show you're into him, and you want it to last forever, but don't come on so much that you scare him!

  • As in any healthy relationship, you will have your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of teamwork and a symbiotic relationship, not a parasitic one, where a party gives and the other one just takes without giving enough back.
  • If your boyfriend is acting passive towards you, it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you. It most likely means he is shy and has never been in a relationship before and just doesn't know how to act. To solve this problem you can talk to him about acting that way. Perhaps he's expecting you to take more initiative, because you have had more experience with relationships than he has.
  • Avoid having a "one track" relationship in which the bond revolves around one thing. Keep your relationship strong by bringing variety and diversity into the relationship. Try different and new things together. Relationships are about having fun together, learning together and growing together.
  • Don't let your friends try to manage your relationship. It's your relationship and no one else's. You don't have to listen to every piece of advice from your friends if you don't want to.
  • Don't always criticize men, it doesn't go well, however constructive criticism has its place.
  • Let him know he's right when he is.
  • Don't forget that he has a life of his own. Just because he didn't call you back for 10 minutes doesn't mean he's been cheating. You cannot be his one and only focus all the time.
  • Don't ever let him tell you how to live your life. Don't let him pressure you and be open about things. But don't tell him how to live his life either.
  • Don't try to change him. Just Let him know things that you like,if he loves you he will try to do it next time.
  • Don't avoid him/be shy of him, when he wears an outfit that you don't prefer,you can buy for him something that you will adore him to put it on. I'm sure next time you will find changes ,don't be too open by telling him What have you worn today!

  • Do NOT flirt with his friends! No matter how hot they are to you, you need to assure him that he is the only guy for you.
  • Don't be annoying.
  • Never lie.
  • Don't look at his phone.
  • Don't conduct "secret tests" on your boyfriend to see what he'll do. It's humiliating, disrespectful and unfair, and you wouldn't want him to do that to you. The same goes for coercing your boyfriend with sex.
  • It's fine to share things with your girlfriends when talking about him, but remember to be respectful of him by not sharing things that are embarrassing, confidential or rude. (Don't kiss and tell!) You can keep your girlfriends "updated" on how the relationship is going, but keep them from getting involved in your relationship, unless abuse or other dangerous activities are taking place, in which case tell them everything. But if you decide you want to share private information about the relationship, make sure he is allowed to do the same with his friends; but don't let him talk about you like an object.
  • Jealousy is a very dangerous thing. Don't intentionally make him jealous. That will result with a lot of problems and difficulties within your relationship.
  • Try to get along with his friends and family. These are most likely things that mean a lot to him, and him having good opinions about you from people he cares about will mean a lot. Try making friends with his friends and his siblings. Make sure you're respectful to his parents and make sure they like you. Try doing little things like becoming close with his mom or going shopping with his sister.
  • Boys feel insecure and like compliments too!
  • Don't just be honest, but be open with things as well. Don't leave things unsaid, even if it can be awkward, because this can lead to problems in your relationship down the road.
  • Don't go out with a guy who you never talk to in person and only talk to on the phone or instant message. Then the guy will think you are scared to talk to him in person or you just don't care about the relationship.
  • Communicate effectively- say exactly, to the point, what is on your mind. That way there are no guessing games.

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Tips on Making a Relationship Work


  • Love is the most important thing for a relationship. There's no "maybe" about love; you should know if you love someone. You enjoy sharing with each other anything and everything, you respect and trust each other, you're always honest with each other, you enjoy spending time and having special moments with each other, the good times outnumber the bad times, you're there for each other, you have great conversations, you're close on almost every level possible, you can balance the time you spend together and the time you spend apart, you can balance the time you do have together on emotional activities and conversations with the physical activities and conversations. You would do anything for each other and protect each other, you're kind to each other and show affection, and you spend time out of choice, not dependency
  • There is always somewhere to go and something to do with each other as a date, so be creative and search around for ideas on what to do and where to go.
  • Remember, if you're boyfriend and girlfriend, basically anywhere you go together and anything you do together is a date. Have fun and bond with each other.
  • Have Saturday or Friday "date nights" for you as a couple (basically a weekly date) if you're in high school.
  • If you're in college, talk over your schedules and have a weekly date night too.
  • If you're not in college or high school (adult) then work around your work schedules and carve out special time for just you two once a week as well.
  • Use relationship resources to help your relationship - e.g., books (Relationships For Dummies, The Complete Idiot's Guide To A Healthy Relationship, Emotional Fitness For Couples). Also - there are relationship therapists, counselors, and psychologists who can help.


  • A relationship should be healthy, caring, loving, kind, upbeat, and positive. It should make your life better. If your life feels trying, upsetting, and worrisome, and even more so when you spend time with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it may be time to reassess.
  • Infatuation generally lasts for 2 years as studies show. Keep this in mind, and if your relationship manages to be 2 years or more, then chances are you two have something that is more than skin deep.

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How to Make a Relationship Work


Decide to love. Infatuation is typically what sparks loving relationships, but the excitement fades and warm feelings diminish unless both partners make conscious efforts to uphold their companionship. Once love is established in a relationship, actively expressing love to each other will maintain and increase the loving feelings in both partners. Conversely, refraining from expressions of love allows one's devotion to dissipate. If you are aiming for a long-lasting, successful marriage, you need to commit to your partner's emotional well-being, even when it isn't easy.

Communicate about anything and everything. Have deep and meaningful conversations once in a while. Discuss what's going on in your lives right now, whether social life, school life, or family life, and learn about each other's pasts and childhoods. Celebrate accomplishments, encourage goals and ambitions, and explore each other's values and beliefs. Share your deepest thoughts, needs, wishes, hopes, and dreams. Know each other inside and out.

Establish trust on all levels. Mutual trust is founded in respect and loyalty toward each other. Strive to understand and respect your differences. Share and clarify your differing perspectives, and try to empathize with each other's point of view. In some cases, it is better to simply agree to have differences of opinion or your own ways of doing things. Pressuring your partner to do something that they really don't want to do, or neglecting or abusing them (whether emotionally, verbally, physically, or sexually) undermines your ability to trust and rely on one another. You should be able to trust each other in everything, keeping private your partner's innermost secrets, fears, and struggles.

Support each other. Be there through the good, happy, sad, and bad times—no matter what. Be willing to provide hugs, kisses, and emotional comfort in all circumstances. If your partner resists your attempts to comfort them and declines to talk about it, you should ease off of the subject and wait until they seem to be in a better mood before returning to it. Feel like you can count on each other; be reliable and loyal, and be emotionally available when you need each other most.

Be completely honest with each other. A truly emotionally intimate relationship requires open and honest communication. Keeping secrets from your partner creates a barrier between you that limits your mutual emotional trust. Honesty can be scary, but if you want your relationship to thrive, then you both need to become comfortable discussing your feelings, insecurities, and frustrations.

Spend time together. Carve out date times for togetherness as a couple. Spend time talking with each other and going out on dates, and doing other relationship-building activities. Really get to know each other and build a connection between you that's strong and enduring. Make an effort to see each other (in-person) and talk on the phone maybe once a day or every few days.

Spend time apart. Be independent and keep your sense of self, never losing yourself or your voice in the relationship. Don't suffocate each other. You should each continue to grow as individuals—not just as a couple. You should have your own space, too—physically and emotionally. Do your own things separately once in a while. Spend time with friends and family, and by yourself pursuing hobbies and other things. Just ensure that no other relationship or pursuit crowds out your partner from being your first priority.

Settle disputes peacefully. Apologize, forgive, and make up with each other. If you threaten to break up with each other after every fight or argument, you will never really resolve anything. Take breaking up off the table. Talk through disagreements as long or as many times as it takes until the issue is resolved and both of you feel comfortable moving forward.

Keep most things private between you two. When your partner shares with you and confides in you (emotionally and physically),especially when they share something about another person; resist the urge to disclose sensitive details to anyone without permission. You should treat it as something special, personal and private between you two, out of respect for your partner. A relationship is between two people—you and your girlfriend or boyfriend (or spouse), not anyone else. Don't involve others in intimate matters, however close you may feel to them.

Make continual efforts to maintain your relationship. Work on it. Work hard at keeping it positive, upbeat, healthy, and the very best it can be. Work on it every single day. Whatever you can do to improve your relationship or make it healthier, do it! Try thinking about, and then doing, at least one thing each day that will make life a little easier, brighter, or better for your other half. By challenging yourself to do at least one nice thing for your partner every single day, you stay focused on keeping your love front and center.

Be romantic. Romance is essential to have at least some of the time. Candles, candlelight, compliments, stargazing, watching the stars, sunset or sunrise, fireworks, romantic bubblebaths, showers, and romantic dinners are good ideas. Make some things you do and some places you decide to go to on dates romantic.

Remember that every person, couple, and relationship is different. Don't compare your relationship to anyone else's—not your parents or other family members, friends, coworkers, that couple whose relationship seems perfect, etc. Every couple makes their own love rules, love agreements, love habits, love routines, and so on. Just focus on you two and making your relationship the best that it can be.

Show affection. Hold hands, kiss, hug, cuddle, snuggle, or wrap arms around shoulders or waists. Become close and really comfortable with each other physically and emotionally. Share every part of yourself (your heart, mind, and soul), not just your body.

Remember that intensity of emotion can ebb and flow over the years. There may be times when you are less aware of your loving feelings, more into your own interests, perhaps things have even become a little become very selfish and routine. Those are the times to remember all the wonderful things you have done together, and still want to do. You choose to feel committed and close, so when you feel yourself drifting or taking your love one for granted or even becoming unkind or disrespectful, plan a romantic date night, do something special for your love, and just remind yourself of all the wonderful qualities he or she possesses that made you fall in love in the first place.

See family as one, not two. Include each other in decisions. One's worry is the other's, because both will be affected by it.

Make sure you're there for your partner no matter what, if they call you then answer your phone, if they text you then reply. Do not avoid or be distant from your partner as this will cause them concern as to weather or not you're serious about them and could lead them to feeling a sense of not trusting you.

Never cheat or be disloyal. Whatever you do behind your partner's back, imagine them doing it to you. Treat others how you want to be treated.

Never be selfish, Your wants and needs are just as important as your partner's, if you give nothing of yourself, then you'll get nothing in return. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Actions speak louder than words.

Don't play games or intentionally act distant to seek control over your partner. This is a form of abuse. If your partner speaks to you, reply with compassion. Never stay silent and avoid them.

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How To Survive When Relationship Breaks Down


Relationship is a beautiful feeling and a wonderful experience. One tends the relationship as one cares for a tender plant. One gives ones whole being to the relationship. The breakdown therefore becomes unbearable. How to survive relationship breakdown?

1. Stop Thinking About why?

Most of the people who suffer with breakdown of relationship keep thinking about the reasons. They analyze again and again. Their mind keeps thinking of the reasons the relationship broke down. They speak to their family and friends and seek their opinion. Sometimes they find that their partner was guilty and other times they blame themselves. This is an unending process. There is no use analyzing the reasons. At least do not do that immediately after the breakdown. You can peacefully do that after about a year to make an unemotional analysis.

2. Do things differently-

I have observed that all of us have habit of doing our daily chores in the same way everyday. Watch when you step out of your home. Which leg do you lift first? You will do this everyday. Similarly watch the way you brush your teeth, your sleeping position, the way you wear your clothes. You will find that you have programmed yourself to do everything in the same way everyday. When you have a relationship breakdown, try reversing all the orders. If it is your left leg that you lift first while walking, lift your right leg. You will be surprised at the new experience of doing everything differently. This breaks the monotony of life and gives mind a new direction in thinking.

It is not very easy to survive breakdown easily. The higher the attraction, the higher will be the shock. The closer you are, the break up will give you more shock. Some out of us expect the relationship to break sooner or later. They are pessimists and call themselves practical. These people are never surprised if the relationship breaks. They may wonder about the reasons but will not suffer trauma. On the other extreme, we have some people who believe that they are made for each other and that the relationship, the loyalty and the faithfulness will last for the life and if possible beyond. Such people are vulnerable to pain and may need psychiatric help.

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Tips on How to Save Your Relationship From a Break Up


For saving your relationship from a break up, the first thing that you need to do is to talk to your partner. There is no conflict or issue in a relationship, which cannot be resolved through talking. If you are not talking to each other, then I suggest that you take the initiative and call your partner. Remember, ego should never ever come in between love. At the same time, when you do talk to your partner, don't sound or look desperate. Do not beg them to stay in the relationship. Instead, simply call up and see whether he/she wants to meet you. If he says yes, consider it a positive sign. If he says no, ask how he is doing and make some small talk. Wait for about a week and then again ask him out. Do not rush things as it will show how desperate you are. Instead, be in control of the situation, by acting maturely and patiently.

Presuming that you two are on talking terms again and your partner has agreed to meet you, the next thing that you both should do is to sit together and analyze what went wrong in the relationship. Here, an important tip to save your relationship from breaking up is to discuss things and not blame one another. Respect, trust, love and open communication, these are the hallmarks of a successful relationship. So, treat your partner with respect and listen to their viewpoint with an open mind. Arrive at the reasons which drove both of you apart and then find solutions for the same together.

Generally, it is seen that relationships fall apart when the partners are not able to give time to one another. With the hectic lifestyles that most of us lead these days, it is no wonder that partners hardly get one to one time on a daily basis. Many of us spend more time with our colleagues as compared to our own spouses. The result? Breakdown of relationships at home and the tendency towards having flings with co-workers or anyone else a person comes in contact with while out of home. So, to avoid all these and to save your relationship, spend quality time with your partner. Go on romantic dates and holidays as you used to when you first fell in love. Join a dance or any other hobby class together so that you can have fun in each other's company. This will certainly help in improving the bond that you two share.

Sometimes, relationships get strained if one of the persons is over possessive and jealous. Both these can be detrimental to one's relationships. Every man and woman in a relationship should remember that the other person has a life beyond the relationship. Respecting each other's space, giving them an opportunity to be themselves and explore various things in life, rather than constraining them, can actually build a strong foundation of trust in the relationship.

Lastly, if things are really out of hand and you two have some issues for which you can't find a solution, it is best that you go in for relationship counseling. A counselor will talk to both of you individually as well as a couple. He can get to the bottom of why you are experiencing problems and suggest some good solutions for the same.

For a relationship to be successful, both the partners should be physically, emotionally and intellectually compatible. Have a frank talk amongst yourself, try to understand what is lacking in your relationship and then work on it. As mentioned earlier, having fun together is extremely important too. So, try adventure sports or read together or go on a holiday. These things will definitely strengthen your bond. In the end, it would pay to keep in mind that some relationships work and some don't. So, even if you two are not able to make your relationship a success, do not be disheartened. Keep an open mind and remember - whatever happens in life, happens for the best!

Published: 5/12/2011

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How to Survive the Relationship Struggle


Most people have a fantasy about relationships. It goes something like this:

One day they'll meet their ideal partner. This person will understand them completely and will easily connect with them. There'll be no arguments. Everything will be perfect. Magic will happen and continue forever.

The reality of relationships, you know, is quite different. An intimate relationship is one of the most powerful opportunities for personal growth. And growth -- even for the most transformed person -- often brings pain. But it also brings incredible joy. Relationships are akin to life -- sometimes sublime and sometimes challenging, and, as with life, the amount of satisfaction you derive depends on how much you're willing to move outside of your comfort zone.

Sometime between three and 12 months into a relationship, a couple enters a period of struggle. During this time, the couple begins having disagreements and one or both partners blame the difficulties on the other. This period lasts approximately one year, depending on the individuals. In my coaching practice I've seen this happen to every couple -- without exception.

What's actually happening is that the couple is establishing the rules of conduct for the relationship. Each partner, having grown up in a different family culture, has different conduct rules. Since these rules are subconscious, neither is aware they're enforcing their own standards. For example, a woman may have been raised in a family where feelings were not expressed and communicating her feelings was scorned. Her partner was raised in a family with excessive emotional closeness and sharing. While she may not expect any emotional expression and sharing in the relationship, her partner does.

The couple's task during this period is to create a shared set of rules that are independent of their respective family dynamics. Each one must look inside and discover what they want from this relationship, which requires a strong commitment to the it and detachment from family patterns.

Without realizing it, most people are deeply loyal to their family patterns and beliefs. Each partner will believe that his approach is the correct one. If and when the other partner does not comply, he will be made wrong and attempts will be made to force compliance.

This period in the relationship is frustrating and painful and it's the point where most relationships end. The key ingredient to the survival of the relationship is the willingness of each partner to grow. Both must be willing to rework their rules of conduct and meet in the middle. If one partner becomes unwilling to grow and change, the relationship is functionally over. A vital, dynamic, loving partnership cannot exist when one partner exerts his will over the other. The relationship will eventually end with both people deeply wounded.

Relationships are not the way they are portrayed in fairy tales, but the true beauty of relationships is that they're an opportunity for each partner to transform. Growth will be painful at times because it will require each partner to go beyond what they already know about relationships. And if you're unwilling to look within yourself and move outside your comfort zone, stay single and date casually. But, if you're willing to grow, you'll reap the benefits of a dynamic, loving partnership.

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25 November 2011

Dear Future Husband, (whoever you might be)


Can I call you nicknames, like maybe ‘Hubby’?
I’d like to be able to do that with you
And so many other things after I say ‘I do’.
But can you accept me just the way I am?
Because otherwise our love will be a sham.
And I may be the weirdest person you will have ever met,
I just hope and pray that you don’t give up on me yet.
Will you love me no matter what, through thick or thin?
Will you love me for what I have within?
I know, when I find you, I will love you unconditionally
There’s nothing I won’t love; you’ll be perfect to me.
I can’t wait to see you, meet you, and know you will be mine
And when I’m with you, everyone will see my face shine.
I can picture you now, with your beautiful smile,
Holding out your arms to me with teasing as your style.
Your eyes will sparkle when you see me because you can’t wait
To hold me again, pull me close and tell me, “You’re late,
Where have you been all my life? It’s you I’ve been missing.”
And I’ll say, “Don’t worry silly, I haven’t been evading,
I was only at the store, but I’m back for you now.”
And maybe you’ll smile your smile and ask me how
I didn’t miss you while I was gone; wouldn’t that be fun?
Just making jokes with each other every so often?
I think together we would just be so great
And whenever I’m with you, it’s happiness we create.
Sadly, I don’t know when I’ll be able to find you
But when I do, I know it will be true.
I just hope that I can find you soon
And then Love, we can walk under the moon.
But tell me, are you having trouble waiting for me also?
Hoping you’ll just wake up and find me tomorrow?
Well, I promise you’ll find me in a tomorrow someday
We will meet in a place, in a time, somehow, someway.
But until that time, I’ll be hoping and waiting to see you then,
Wondering if perhaps I’ve met you and can see you again.
So farewell, wait for me, and think of me some
Because we will be together on a day soon to come.
And remember, I will always love you
And I’m waiting for you too.

Your loving Wifey

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Dear Future Husband


Dear future husband,

I can’t promise you that I will always agree. I can’t promise you that
I will always tell you what’s wrong. I can’t promise that I will always
be able to ease your pain. I can’t promise you that I will never get
on your nerves. But I promise you that I will always be there for you.
I will smile with you and I will cry with you. I will care for you
when you get ill. I will cook for you and try to make it nutritious
and delicious. I will care for our kids and our pets with all the love
I have. I will try to point you to Christ in every moment. I pray that
our relationship will bring glory to God. I look forward to our many
adventures together.

Your future wife

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23 November 2011

BEAUTY is in the eyes of the beholder


Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. It is all a matter of perception. A person who is not so good looking may have immense inner beauty. This is the beauty which gives the confidence to the person and becomes the reason for radiance reflecting on the face. This is what is called beauty as defined by traditionalists. Physical beauty can be achieved by any and everyone but ‘beauty’ in the real sense of term can only be appreciated by one who understands it. It is not important for a person to be gorgeous to be called ‘beautiful’; it is the heart that demands this praise. Here we come to the division between glamour and beauty. Dressing, accessories, shoes etc add to the glamour quotient whereas the purity of the heart is the measure of the beauty quotient.

But appreciation of universal beauty is still the monopoly of the eyes which sees it. Leonardo da Vinci’s Monalisa is considered a universal treat to the eyes. It is a rare piece of beauty, but again one may not appreciate the beauty of Monalisa and find it to be rather ugly! Yes it’s quite possible because beauty is a matter of perception. Ex. A feature which is not appealing to one can have immense attraction for another. Wrinkles on a woman’s face may be quite disturbing even to the woman, but to her lover it might be the very thing which attracts him. Same thing goes with imperfections. Many people like things or objects which are imperfect. Suppose a flower vase which is not so perfect may have more aesthetic appeal than a perfect vase. It all depends on how a person looks at it. Even an innate object may spell ‘awesome’ for some, while for others it may still remain innate. So the essence of beauty lies in what a person imagines and appreciates.

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02 August 2011


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Toniliciousz @ The Buzz :)


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Ultimate Multimedia Princess and the Soon-To-Be :p


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GAME PLAN: Are you IN or OUT?


Life is like a contest, a game. The moment you have decided to take a step, assuredly, there’s no turning back. You cannot keep everything, not all time you win and take the grand prize. Its either you win something or lose something. You have to choose and weight things respectively. Each of us must be smart in choosing right decisions and strategies. As much as possible, there is no room for mistakes. No one will be exempted for playing the game, even the politicians. Just like every people, politicians should have their own game plan.

Now, let’s look at the game plan of a man behind the success of Corazon “Cory” Aquino and his contribution to the Rise of People Power.

Can he manage to stay at the top or fall as the runner up?

Is he IN or OUT?

The man that I am referring to is none other than Aquilino “Nene” Pimentel Jr.

Aquilino Pimentel Jr. or better known as Nene Pimentel is born into a political family in Cagayan de Oro as the son of Aquilino E. Pimentel a lawyer and Petra Quilinging a public school teacher.

The man from Mindanao was move to the national arena as an elected delegate to the Constitutional Convention of 1971, representing Misamis Oriental. The complexity of what had promised to be an inspiring political exercise changed when then President Ferdinand Marcos declared Martial Law on September 21, 1972.

Being a young and principled lawyer, Pimentel and a few-like minded delegates feared the CONCON would produce a Marcos-scripted Constitution and were vocal in their opposition.


Because of the fear that martial law will bring, Pimentel protested certain provisions as being contrary to the people’s interest. Not surprisingly, in a roundup of those who opposed Marcos, he was arrested in early 1973 and jailed for three months at Camp Crame . At the same year he was released from prison in time for the signing of the Constitution. Pimentel refused to sign along with a few other delegates. In the climate of fear of the Martial Law era, this was a bold move and it widened his repute as an oppositionist. He then became the lawyer for the National Secretariat for Social Action of the Catholic Bishops Conference to help the poor peasants and the urban poor who were particularly oppressed during the Martial Law era.

Pimentel as a fearless man did not stop the fight and instead he ran for a post in the Interim Batasan elections as an official candidate of the Lakas ng Bayan (Laban) party of Metro Manila along with Ninoy Aquino in April 1978. Sadly, members of Marcos’ Kilusan ng Bagong Lipunan (KBL) party swept the seats.

Pimentel and other opposition leaders like Senator Lorenzo Tañada, Teofisto Guingona, and Chino Roces loudly protested the defeat of all opposition candidates and denounced the massive cheating that had taken place. Pimentel was one of those arrested for leading a demonstration against what he termed farcical elections. He had spoken out against Marcos’ bid to produce a rubber stamp legislature to win legitimacy for his iron-fisted regime which was increasingly being criticized here and abroad. Pimentel was jailed for two months in Camp Bicutan , Metro Manila.

Pimentel’s second stint in prison did not silence him. In fact, it strengthened his resolve to fight for freedom and to oppose electoral fraud. He brought the battle from the streets to the polls in January 1980 when Marcos allowed local elections.


Nothing and No one can stop Pimentel and his advocacies. They launched his mayoralty bin in Cagayan with a mere 2,000 in his war chest, all the money the couple could gather. As a result of his fortitude, Cagayanons who believed in him contributed to his campaign and penned his name on their ballot. Pimentel won by a 3-1 margin over his KBL rival, who was fielded by Marcos. Pimentel ran under the coalition banner of the National Union for Democracy and Freedom and the Mindanao Alliance which busted KBL dominance in Misamis Oriental. He and his entire slate of candidates for vice mayor and seven city councilors swept the elections in Cagayan de Oro. His candidates for governor and vice governor also won.


Pimentel was not to govern his city unhindered. In 1981, while he was on a five-week training course in the United States , the Comelec ousted him for “political turncoatism,” installing the KBL candidate as mayor. The Comelec cited Pimentel for switching from Laban in April 1978 to the National Union for Democracy and Freedom in December 1979 and then running as candidate of the Mindanao Alliance in January 1980. Pimentel partisans immediately staged peaceful demonstrations to express their displeasure. About 30 of his supporters also started fasting in protest. Six days later, 10,000 of his supporters marched around the city in a nonviolent show of support for Pimentel who was then on an official trip to the US . Thousands more lined the streets to cheer them on. This first-ever demonstration of “People Power” came at a time when Marcos did not lightly tolerate different opinions.

Meanwhile in Manila, Pimentel’s lawyer, headed by opposition leaders former Senators Lorenzo Tañada and Soc Rodrigo, along with Abraham Sarmiento, Raul Gonzales and Joker Arroyo, claimed that the Comelec had acted without jurisdiction and contented that the electorate’s will should be respected. The Comelec, however, reaffirmed its decision to oust Pimentel.

The conflict made national headlines and demonstrations causing Marcos to alter the decision of COMELEC.

But that doesn’t stop there, in1983 while he was in Cebu City , Pimentel was arrested on charges of rebellion and was detained. He had allegedly given P100 to new People’s Army commander. At that time even his family did not know where he was. They traced him to Camp Sergio Osmeña and later to Camp Cabahug in the City of Cebu . Even as he was held in the military detention centers, his followers from Cagayan De Oro and other parts of the country visited him by the hundreds to boost his moral and keep his spirits high. Nene Pimentel disputed the charges and was later released. Returning home, he was mobbed by thousand of his supporters upon his arrival at the pier of Cagayan De Oro. Later, he was again arrested for allegedly engaging in ambuscades. His supporters contributed centavos and pesos in small denomination to bail him out. Subsequently, Pimentel was placed under house arrest which lasted for almost seven months.

From the confines of his home, Pimentel continued to keep abreast of national news. He helped rally the opposition, ran the city and launched his bid as assemblyman for the Batasang Pambansa. He was, if anything, not quite. He protested relentlessly and fearlessly against injustice, fraud, corruption and Marcos’ dictatorial rule.


Then, in the aftermath of the assassination of Marcos’s chief rival, Benigno “Ninoy” Aquino in 1983, Pimentel won a seat in the Batasan Pambansa elections of 1984. But the Marcos government ousted him on the allegation that he had cheated in the elections. The Supreme Court itself recounted the ballots in an electoral contest.

Pimentel, a relentless critic of the Marcos regime, was often seen with Ninoy’s widow, Cory, as they rallied the opposition. These alliances then became and form a party, the merger of two political parties being the opposition group for Marcos’ government. The party formed is now PDP Laban, Partido Demokratiko Pilipino and Lakas ng Bayan.

Partido Demokratiko Pilipino (PDP) was founded in 1982 by Aquilino Pimentel, Jr. and a group of protesters of the Marcos government. These protesters include the leaders of Davao Cityand Cagayan de Oro City. By 1983, PDP had formed a coalition with the Lakas ng Bayanparty, founded earlier by former Senator Benigno Aquino, Jr. in 1978.

In 1986, the two groups merged to form the Partido Demokratiko Pilipino-Lakas ng Bayan or PDP LABAN. At that period, PDP LABAN became the single biggest opposition group to run against the presidency of Ferdinand Marcos in the 1986 Snap Presidential elections. Corazón Aquino, wife of Lakas ng Bayan founder Benigno Aquino, Jr. was the party’s nominee forPresident that year.

However, another opposition group led by Senator Salvador Laurel of Batangas was also participating in the election, with Laurel as the presidential bet. Before the election, Aquino approached Laurel and offered to give up her allegiance to the PDP-LABAN party, and run as president under Laurel ‘s United Nationalist Democratic Organization (UNIDO) party. Laurel became the nominee for Vice President. He also approached Aquino, offering her the Vice Presidential nomination of UNIDO or Unity. In the end, Laurel became the Vice Presidential running-mate of Aquino, after being convinced to do so by the Archbishop of Manila, Jaime Cardinal Sin. When Cardinal Jaime Sin brokered a political marriage between Cory and Salvador “Doy” Laurel, Jr., Pimentel graciously stepped aside and let history run its course.


Cory Aquino won the election for President and finally the stand for democracy rises.


Where is Nene Pimentel? Is he out of the game?

Upon her ascent to power President Aquino appointed Pimentel as Minister of Local Government. He had the unenviable task of dismantling the structure of dictatorship and corruption left behind by the Marcos regime. Pimentel wielded the axe deliberately, gaining a breathing space for the new administration. His critics alleged he had sold positions in the new government, but none could make the charge stick. Pimentel incurred the ire of some but also the respect of those who saw that he did it without fear or favor or taint of corruption. Pimentel’s next assignment in the Aquino administration was as presidential adviser and chief negotiator with the Muslim rebels. He resigned from that post to run for the Senate in the 1987 elections.

Ups and Downs came but still he managed to stay at the top.


His achievements speak for him.

  • Elected Delegate, Constitutional Convention, 1971;
  • Elected Mayor of Cagayan de Oro City, 1980-84;
  • Elected Member of Parliament (Batasan Pambansa), 1984-86;
  • Appointed Minister of Local Government by President Corazon C. Aquino, 1986;
  • Appointed Presidential Adviser and Chief Negotiator with the Muslim rebels by President Aquino, 1987;
  • Elected Senator of the Republic, 1987-1992;
  • Cheated of victory by means of dagdag/bawas in the 1995 senatorial elections; whereupon he sued the cheaters before the criminal courts where the cases are still being tried. He, has, however, established by incontrovertible evidence in the Senate Electoral Tribunal the existence of massive dagdag/bawas fraudulent count in the said senatorial elections.
  • Elected Senator of the Republic, 1998-2004. As a senator, he continues the crusade to curb graft and corruption in government; the fight for electoral reforms and the prosecution of the criminal cases against the cheats in the 1995 & 1998 elections.
  • Elected as the 19th Senate President of the Republic, November 13, 2000.
  • Elected as the Senate Minority Leader in the opening of the 12th Congress, July 23, 2001.
  • Elected Senator of the Republic, 2004-2010.
  • Elected as the Senate Minority Leader, July 26, 2004 – present.
  • Elected Senator 2004-2010

Some of Senator Pimentel’s notable achievements in legislation include: Republic Act No. 7160, The Local Government Code which liberates provinces, cities, municipalities and barangays from over-dependence upon the central government; Republic Act No. 6938, The Cooperative Code which provides government encouragement and support for the establishment of all kind of people’s cooperatives; Republic Act No. 6678, The Generic Drugs Act which encourages the use of generic drugs as a way of reducing the costs of medicine; and Republic Act No. 6734, An Act Creating the Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao which seeks to dissipate the causes of unrest and recession in the Muslim provinces of Mindanao.

Because of his achievements and dedication he established himself as a man with honor, dignity and love for his nation.

So, is he IN or OUT?

In life, we don’t know how it would end but we know how to make it better. Like an excited yet breath-taking games, we ought to know when to end so as not to lose everything. It is not bad to make some gambles in life because it is inevitable. We just have to play our strategies well and accept what the result may be.

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An Exemption to the Rule


In the Philippines, politics is often a family affair. For generations, a few famous and wealthy families have dominated politics in the country as there are no board exams for politicians; all it takes is a surname to qualify. You see, POLITICAL DYNASTIES bind and continue to bind politics in the country. Let’s face it, they will always be with us. And it’s not just us… Every country must have their own share of political dynasties. But taking a closer look at the picture, we’d see that the problem is not political dynasties per se but the long list of incompetent officials elected to public positions. As far as I’m concerned, the problem is competency and not political dynasty in itself. If all the elected family members in a particular clan are all competent in the position they vied for, then that should no longer be a bone of contention. Sad thing is, most of these political dynasties have used their positions to protect family interests and perpetuate themselves in power. But these political dynasties don’t always have it their way. Dynasties are not unbeatable. Dynasties also suffer defeat. As to every rule, there are always exceptions.

Take for instance the Remulla Clan of the Partido Magdalo in Cavite. Cavite has undergone a rapid economic transformation over the years. Credits to Johnny Remulla who served as the catalyst for Cavite’s Second Revolution. Johnny Remulla’s sons, Crispin and Gilbert, are quite competent as legislators in Congress. They have created and continue to create good laws – a skill they have acquired through years and decades of being in office. Their many years in office have served as a training ground which have honed their skills in leadership and lawmaking. Whether we admit it or not, those politicians who belong to political dynasties have a whole lot of experience. And experience, I can say, is worth as much as power. Everyone is free to run for a public position if he wishes to do so. Yet not everyone is educationally capable to handle the intricacies of nation-building, bill-writing, dealing with international leaders, etc. As sad as it is, the members of political dynasties are armed with the knowledge to face national problems head on. (I’m not saying that those who’s not knowledgeable in the nitty-gritty of politics cannot run. Of course they can. All I’m saying is, being knowledgeable gives a candidate an edge, an advantage that is to say.) Moreover, the Remulla clan had broken with the old ways of running their areas and had shown a capacity to govern responsibly. The implementation of projects under the terms of the Remulla dynasty is continuous hence it is given full attention. Let’s put it this way, families take care of a certain area. Political families “invest their time in handling” the local affairs of their home province, aimed in “protecting” their turf. They say political dynasties are those families who belong to the country’s economic elite, some of them acting as rule makers or patrons of politicians who conspire together to amass greater economic power. But the Remulla clan are not the elites to beat in Cavite. Matter of fact, their political foes are those who belong to the economic elite in their locality. Golds were promised by their rivals just to trounce the Remullas, particularly Gilbert who was vocal against the past administration during the House investigation on the “Hello Garci” controversy. The Remullas are already tested public servants. Career runs in the blood. Although competency does not, they make it seem like it does. Some may deem it wrong to quench the urge to protect one’s genes, make siblings survive and achieve power. But on the upside, it can encourage them to serve better and protect their names and lineage.

Having a popular last name therefore, does not necessarily mean doom for the Filipino people. No matter how many members of the family run, if people will be SMART enough to vote. Then we have hope.

I wrote this article not to justify political dynasties but to give the other side of the coin. Not all political dynasties are bad. If it is unethical to benefit from public office by virtue of blood ties, it’s equally unethical to deprive someone of its benefits on the mere basis of relationship and blood ties. Personally, I do not despise ‘Political dynasties’. As long as good leaders come out, why not? And besides, they are still bound by ‘democratic’ constitution. Coming from the words of Aristotle, as long as aristocracy means ‘the rule of the best’ then let it be.

At the end of the day, it is still us voters who will make the choice. Responsible voting is still the best antidote. We are in a democratic country and the people decide whether political dynasties remain or not. We’re lucky if the heir is good. And the Caviteños must be very lucky to have the Remulla Clan as one of the very few exceptions to the cruel rule of political dynasties.

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The Laurels


Have you ever wondered about the Laurels? [San Juan1] Seriously have you ever thought about them?[San Juan2] I know, I have, it’s been hunting me for the past few months; but unlike other politicians, the Laurels are very adapt in hiding their personal life; so pardon me if my knowledge is not enough to suffice you.

Originally the Laurels are from Tanauan, Batangas [San Juan3] and until now the Laurels are very influential around the town; and like the famous families in the Philippines the Zabels and Conjuanco’s the Laurels also came from a royal ancestry.

The Story of first Laurel in the Philippines

“Three years of genealogical research have enabled the Laurel family to trace their ancestry to a scion of the Sultanate of Brunei in the 15th century before the coming of the Spaniards to thePhilippines.

The Sultan’s eldest and heir had refused the throne because he loved to explore, travel, and seeking adventures. His name is Gat Masungit, a prince, an appellation that bespeaks a touchy temper.

And instead of accepting his father’s throne he had decamped from Brunei with his partisans and they had sailed off the islands that would later be known as the Philippines. The sultan was disappointed because Gat Masungit had all qualities to make a great leader.

First they landed in Panay where Gat Masungit founded the town of Batan. (The people of Batan today still celebrate that foundation with a ritual frolic and dance known as Ati-Atihan.)

Then he crossed over to Luzon, where they settled in the southern realm they called Batang-an, and which we know today as Batangas.

In Batangas, Gat Masungit begot his first son, Gat Leynes. Of course this clan folk were Muslimuntil the coming of the Spaniards when the eldest son of Gat Leynes was baptized with a Christianname of Miguel Dela Cruz. Miguel grew up to be a fierce foe of the Spanish invaders. People looked up to him as a leader, the champion of their rights against the greed of their oppressors. He became a notorious outlaw and an enemy of the Spaniards. Old age came upon him and a desire to retire from war and strife. But how could he retire when his people still clung to his leadership?

Miguel pondered for ways to escape his violent life. His wife suggested that he should ask the priest for help. “What?” roared the descendant of Gat Masungit. “How can a man in skirt help me?” he repeated. His wife calmly urged Miguel.

One moonless night Miguel went to seek the priest of Taal to expound his problem. Here he was willing to lay down his arms. He poured out his violent ways against injustice of the Spanishconquerors. No matter where he went people would seek Miguel to champion their cause and theSpaniards search for his disposal. The priest gently put his hand on Miguel’s shoulder and said “Why not change your name”. Miguel had a puzzling look in his face and said “Which name should I take padre?” The priest paused for a few seconds and answered “Why not take the name Laurel[San Juan4] … it means honor live the life of honor Miguel Laurel.” Henceforth the first Laurel had come to be.”

I’m sure you had fun with the story however we need to go back to business. The Laurels; The Laurels comes from the lineage of politician; but even though they come from a family of politicians they were only recognize around the country when Jose P Laurel became the president of the Philippines.

Jose P Laurel is a prominent name in the Philippine history but before he reaches his fame he first took a law degree in the University of the Philippines where he studied under Dean George A. Malcolm, whom he later succeeded on the Supreme Court and later studied at University of Sto. Tomas where he obtains his masters in Law; then he attended Yale law School where he acquired his Doctorate of Law.

But before he attains all of his Diplomas in prestigious universities, he had an unforgettable experience in love. While a teen he was indicted for attempted murder when he almost killed a rival suitor of his girlfriend[San Juan5] .

Jose P. Laurel indeed live a very colorful life on august 15, 1945; laurel was arrested for collaboration with the Japanese. In 1946 he was charged with 132 counts of treason, but was never brought to trial due to the general amnesty granted by President Manuel Roxas in 1948. And in 1949 laurel ran for presidency against Elpidio Quirino however he lost in the election, but this election was considered as the dirtiest election in Philippine Electrol history.

But in 1951 Laurel ran for senatorial and won; he considered this as a vindication of his reputation and any offer for re-election was decline by Laurel because at that time he decided to concentrate his time to his family [San Juan6]

“During his retirement, Laurel stayed in a 3-story, 7-bedroom mansion dubbed as “Villa Pacencia”, erected in 1957 at Mandaluyong and named after Laurel’s wife. The home was one of three residences constructed by the Laurel family, the other two being located in Tanauan and in Paco, Manila (called “Villa Peñafrancia). In 2008, the Laurel family sold “Villa Pacencia” to Senate President Manny Villar and his wife Cynthia.

On November 6, 1959, Laurel died at the Lourdes Hospital, in Manila, from a massive heart attackand a stroke. (www.wikipedia.com )”

However, this is not the end for the Laurels another Laurel also rise to fame in the field of politics his named is “Salvador H. Laurel” the son of Jose P. Laurel and his wife Paciencia Hidalgo. Akin to his father Doy also took the same steps as his father but broader. [San Juan7]

Doy, as he was more popularly known, distinguished himself in his legal career. He authored and edited several publications on the subject of law, among which were the seven-volumeProceedings of the Philippine Constitutional Convention, 1934-35, published in 1970. As a professor of labor law and jurisprudence at the Lyceum of the Philippines, a school founded by his family, he published several articles in the school’s Law Review on penal and labor policies.

As a lawyer committed to helping indigents who found themselves litigants in court cases, Laurel organized the Citizens Legal Aid Society of the Philippines (CLASP), which inspired the creation of similar such organizations there and elsewhere. For the creation of CLASP, he was cited as Most Outstanding Legal Aid Lawyer of the World in 1976 by the International Bar Association. He also received the Lawyer of the Year award from the Justice and Court Reporters Association of the Philippines in 1977.

Doy carried on the political tradition in the family begun by his father, who was a longtime congressman and speaker of the House of Representatives. He won a seat in the Philippine Senate in 1967 and kept his post until the declaration of martial law in 1972 when Congress was shut down by President Marcos. As a senator, he authored five “Justice for the Poor” laws intended to reduce the legal expenses of those who could not afford it. He was chairman of the Senate Committee on Justice, as well as of three other standing committees. While a senator, he added special reports to his list of publications, the foremost of which was theLaurel Report on Penal Reforms in 1969. For these accomplishments he was consistently cited as one of the outstanding senators of the Philippines.

Laurel also served the Philippine government as representative to the United Nations General Assembly from 1968 to 1970. As a lawyer-businessman, he continued as chairman of the CLASP and as president and director of various business enterprises, including Dorel Corporation and the Philippine Banking Corporation.

When President Marcos called for elections for assemblymen of the Batasang Pambansa, theunicameral legislature under martial law, Doy Laurel ran and won. While there, he delivered several speeches assailing misconduct in the Marcos government.

He subsequently founded the United Nationalist Democratic Organization (UNIDO), which served as effective opposition to the president’s ruling party, the Kilusan ng Bagong Lipunan (KBL). In the Batasan election of 1984 UNIDO was able to get several candidates elected. With other opposition factions, UNIDO served as critic of the Marcos regime in the halls of the weak legislature.

Opposition to the one-man rule of President Marcos grew from 1983 upon the assassination of Senator Benigno Aquino on his return to Manila from self-exile in the United States. In late 1985, Marcos acceded to strong domestic and international pressure to call for snap elections, still confident of his victory. Doy Laurel ran for president under the UNIDO banner. However, on the deadline for the filing of candidacy he forged a unity with Corazon Aquino’s LABAN Party and agreed to run as her vice-president.

The February 1986 elections were marred by violence and fraud. Marcos was declared winner by the Batasan, amidst protests from the National Movement for Free Elections (NAMFREL). In the military, a faction led by the defense minister Juan Ponce Enril and the deputy chief of staff Fidel Ramos revolted. People flocked to the streets, surrounding the military camp to prevent reprisals from government troops. The people forestalled an armed battle. Marcos, the long-time dictator, fled to Hawaii. The UNIDO-LABAN team of Corazon Aquino and Salvador Laurel became president and vice-president of the Philippines, respectively. A new constitution was drafted and submitted to the voters for ratification February 2, 1987.

A split soon developed between Corazon Aquino and her vice-president. In February of 1989 Laurel visited Marcos, then in exile in Hawaii, and requested that the ill former president be allowed to return home. This request contradicted the policy of Aquino and the rest of the government, which demanded Marcos pay back the many millions of dollars that he was accused of stealing from the Phillipine people before he could return. In early December, a coup was attempted against President Aquino while Laurel was out of the country, but failed owing to the loyalty of most of the military to the president. Laurel was bitterly attacked by Aquino for refusing to condemn the coup leaders and allegedly saying they had a “right” to their actions. The President accused Laurel of being part of the rebellion, an accusation he denied. In 1992 Laurel ran for president on the Nacionalista Party to succeed Aquino, but finished fourth. He was appointed by the eventual winner, Fidel Ramos, as Chairman of the Philippines Centennial Commission to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the Philippines in 1998.

Behind Doy’s accomplishments for our country is the sadness felt of his love ones he left behind due to the outcomes of his sacrifices

“I feel it’s quite ironic,” she says, “that ever since the first anniversary of Edsa I, Doy was never made a part of it, never mentioned or even remembered. Publications about that important part in our history have completely ignored the man who made it possible.”

“What if he did not risk his life during the martial-law years to organize an opposition that would fight the dictator and restore democracy? What if he did not bother to convince and inspire the leaders of various political parties to unite and join the Unido for the cause of democratic freedom? What if he were not courageous enough to lead marches and rallies nationwide against a powerful administration when it was dangerous to do so?”—from the wife of late Salvador Laurel (Celia Diaz-Laurel tells it like it is By Gerry Lirio: Philippine Daily Inquirer)

In Celia Diaz Laurel also mention her late husband’s sacrifice in abandoning his plan in running for presidency in order to give way to the late wife of Senator Aquino; and preventing the opposition for splitting up.

She particularly cites her husband’s sacrifice in abandoning his plan to run for president to give way to Corazon Aquino, widow of murdered Sen. Benigno “Ninoy” Aquino Jr., and prevent the opposition from splitting up, in December 1985.

“What if he did not give way to Cory during the snap elections and insisted on running as the official Unido candidate? After all, he had already been proclaimed official candidate of this powerful organization. Would there have been an Edsa I?” she wonders.

After his funeral, Laurel went through all her husband’s books, letters, speeches, notes and “wove together, like a tapestry, his odyssey, in his own words, in his own inimitable style of writing, the expression of his beliefs, his deepest thought and feelings,” all revealing, she says, what he did best for God and country.

“I don’t understand why they linked Doy at all to the Centennial controversy. Did you know that he was very particular about not getting his hands dirty with government funds? He never even entertained people wanting to see him about the projects through his relatives.”from the wife of late Salvador Laurel (Celia Diaz-Laurel tells it like it is By Gerry Lirio: Philippine Daily Inquirer)

Everything that happened must be really painful for the Laurels[San Juan8] ; that cause them to stay away from the political arena until now, and shift their attentions into business and concentrate living life peacefully.

Not until she arrives in the Philippines and took everyone by her beauty. This Laurel has an exceptional talent in acting and singing that she manages to land up in several projects in both GMA and ABS-CBN.

The people almost forgot the contribution of the Laurels along with their name, but thanks to her charm some of it was restore.

Denise Laurel is the granddaughter of former Vice-President, the late Salvador Laurel and her grandmother Celia Diaz, and the great-granddaughter of former President of the Philippines the late Jose P. Laurel; she is the youngest daughter of David Laurel the son of Doy Laurel.

Since a little girl Denise already had a dream to enter showbiz; she already landed some roles at the age of five and everybody find her charming in her commercials.

But her breakthrough in Philippine Showbiz was through her role in Singapore were she landed a part on MTV’s Asia’s “Rogue” along with Mariel Rodriguez who she also shared a house in Singapore while they were working together, after one season of Rouge in Singapore Denise decided to come back into the Philippines to concentrate more on local showbiz.

She made her first appearance in local television again in GMA’s “Click, Walang Hanghang and Leya.” She also made appearance in GMA’s telefantasya “Mulawin and Encantadia.” From this series the Filipinos recognizes her as a talented and promising young actress.

But after a while of separation Denise went back to her original home, ABS-CBN and was given several shows where she has proven her talent once more. However every time Denise was ask if she is interested to run in politics like her Grandfather and Great Grandfather who contributed a lot in shaping the Philippine government; her answers will be always “it’s not my field.” So would it be the end for the Laurels political clan and participation or a new start for a Laurel in a different arena.

On my own opinion, maybe the Laurels were infatuated already with politics, because of their undeniable long linage of political participation. But no matter what action the Laurels take, whether a new path or a resurrection of the old one, the truth is irrefutable that they are important in the Philippine government maturity and in the Philippines history itself.

Thus the name Laurel should not be forgotten.

[San Juan1]Now you do because I gave you a reason to ponder!

[San Juan2]If you have good for you! It’s nice to know someone know his/her history and for those who don’t SHAME!

[San Juan3]Hapeiii..Another credit for the batangenos

[San Juan4]I’m sure the priest made a mistake it supposed to be GARCIA…joke

[San Juan5](All fair in love and war).

[San Juan6]Sons of president Laurel ang his wife

[San Juan7]Laurel went to the best schools in the Philippines and in the United States.

è In grade school he attended Ateneo de Manila, a Jesuit-run institution;

è for high school he went to De La Salle College, another well-known Catholic school.

è He then proceeded to the University of the Philippines for pre-medicine and pre-law studies and received the degree of Bachelor of Laws in 1952.

è He finished his Master of Laws and Doctor of Juridical Science at Yale University.

[San Juan8]The Laurels Today

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