Love is not Only for Lovers

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Things to live by

sobrang thankful ko tlaga sa mga wonderful artist kgaya ni Mr. Walf at Wimpy Kid :))

hndi kc ako mrunong magdrawing kaya nagddrool lang ako sa mga likhang-sining nila . sobrang nkakainspire tlaga .. thanks po for making us happy unknowingly ^^

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Love Begins with One Hello...

ONE HELLO

If you’re not afraid of what love brings
Then endings are beginnings of beautiful things
It’s a chance you’ll take
A chance you’ll win
If someone’s gonna find you,
First you gotta let them in

Coz love begins with one hello
The hardest part is over,
Now it’s easy letting go
One hello is how it starts
You might win it all
Or lose your heart

If you’re not afraid of what you feel
Then try and keep it simple
Or try and keep it real
And if being real means you’ll someday say goodbye
Remember my friend, goodbye’s not the end
It’s a circle you know and it starts with one hello

Whoo~ Love begins with one hello
The hardest part is over,
Now it’s easy letting go
One hello is how it starts
Remember my friend, goodbye’s not the end
It’s a circle you know
And it starts, starts with one hello…

sobra tlaga yung tama ko sa kantang to ., just so you know guys , hndi po kc ganun kadali ung pinag-daanan namin ni Mamark . Sobrang bilis ng lahat! Sobrang gulo! Sobrang nkakagulat! I was with someone back then before he came into my life. We were on our 2 years and 9 nine months. I thouhgt everything's going to be find. I thought our relationship is indestructible , but I was wrong ! Ganun ata tlaga kapag tinamaan ka . Kahit gaano pa kayo katagal ng kasama mo sa buhay kung mag pagmamahal kang naramdaman sa iba, hndi mo tlaga mdadaya ang puso . pero hndi ko gnagawang excuse to para sa mga mahilig mang-iwan at mga timer jan .. hndi ko rin jinajustify ung sarili ko kc may malaki . may mlaking pagkakamali .. may taong nagmamahal sakin na sobra kong nsaktan pero ako man eh biktima lang din . biktima ng isang mapaglarong pag-ibig . nagpakatotoo lang ako sa nraramdaman ko kayamas pinili kong sundin ung nararamdaman ko . Kaya nung dumating sa buhay ko si Mamark , I let him in .. Alam kong maraming magiging mga pag-subok , maraming hahadlang pero heto kami ngayon masaya pa rin sa piling ng isa't isa. Para sa mga makakabasa nito ang maipapayo ko lang sa inyo , magpakatotoo kayo. Magpakatotoo kayo sa nararamdaman nyo dahil maaaring kaya nyong lokohin ang iba na masaya kayo sa isa't isa pero ang pnakamahirap ay ang lokohin ang sarili mong nraramdaman . Wag kayong matakot sa mga pag-subok! Parte tlaga yan ng buhay at yan ang nagpapatibay sa isang relasyon :))

Keep Loving!

Love,

JhayCee of MamCee

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Why Living Together is a Good Idea

Marriage

• Some couples want to try living together to see how they get on together before committing to marriage. Other times, they simply don't have the option to get married. For example, same-sex couples have marriage rights only in a handful of American states, and at one time interracial marriage was socially forbidden.

Practicalities

• Living together makes economic sense, as a couple can share the costs of utility bills and other expenses between them. In the lead-up to an expensive wedding, cohabitation could mean big savings. In some cases, marriage can affect taxation and social security benefits, so couples choose to live together rather than marry.

Emotions

• At root, many couples live together because they love each other and enjoy spending their lives close to each other. According to social scientists David Knox and Caroline Schacht, in the book "Choices in Relationships," couples who live together are more likely to report a sense of emotional well-being than single people or non-cohabiting couples.

Source

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Cohabitation and Its Advantages

Cohabitation simply means living together. The term is normally applied to two people who are living together outside of marriage. According to a joint study by the Pew Research Center and "Time Magazine," four out of ten Americans think marriage is becoming obsolete. Although various religious traditions frown upon cohabitation, many cohabitating couples find the arrangement to be more advantageous than marriage.

Financial Benefits

• Cohabitation is financially advantageous if the two people who are cohabitating would otherwise reside alone. Not only can cohabitating couples split rent, they can also split cable, Internet, telephone and other utility bills. People can also save money on gas since they will not be traveling back and forth between each other's residences. Cohabitation allows couples to save money on the monthly costs of living, and this may be helpful if the couple is saving for a wedding, honeymoon or a future mortgage. According to the Pew Research Poll, two thirds of persons that have cohabitated regarded the arrangement as a step towards marriage. If the couple does not intend to marry, they can avoid the costs of a big wedding ceremony by simply moving in together.

No Ceremony

• Some non-religious people choose to cohabitate because they do not regard the religious or legal ceremony of marriage to be that important. For these people, a union between two people is not stronger simply because a priest or state officiant formally acknowledges the union. If a couple regards marriage as a mere formality, then cohabitating can be a more desirable option.

Companionship and Compatibility

• Cohabitation provides companionship. Cohabitating couples can enjoy each other's company when home from work in the evening or when just relaxing on the weekends. At the same time, cohabitation provides the opportunity to test compatibility before making the serious commitment of marriage. Residing together can really change the dynamic of a relationship and introduce new stresses and tensions. Some couples prefer to experience these adjustments before marriage.

Protesting the Institution of Marriage

• Despite religious, cultural and legal biases against non-traditional unions, more and more Americans are accepting of unions between two men or two women. In fact, according to an April 2011 CNN/Opinion Research Corporation Poll, 51 percent of Americans think gays and lesbians should have the same legal rights as married men and women. Some heterosexual couples choose to protest the heterosexist bias of the institution of marriage by refusing to wed until all couples are permitted to wed. Others reject the institution of marriage altogether, believing that it privileges patriarchal values. For people with ethical objects to marriage or to legislation authorizing only one type of marriage, cohabitation is an alternative.

Source

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Why Do Couples Who Live Together Divorce?

By John London

Opinion is wildly divided on whether couples who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced than those who don't. Some studies have shown divorce rates up to 80 percent higher for unmarried cohabiting couples, while others suggest there is no significant difference. It does seem, however, that there is at least a prima facie case to suggest that co-habitation before marriage does raise the chances of a couple getting a divorce over and above the accepted average.

Commitment

One reason that has been cited for the higher divorce rates of cohabiting unmarried couples is their lack of commitment to the institution of marriage. Clearly the less moral, emotional and spiritual value people place on marriage, the more their ties to the institution will be weaker as a whole and divorce will come much easier. A couple who are cohabiting before marriage have shown they place a lesser value on the institution of marriage than others who take a more rigid and traditional approach.

Peer Pressure

It is possible that those who have cohabited for long periods before marriage eventually end up getting married for a wrong reason, such as peer pressure -- either from the other partner or family and friends or all three. Sometimes people can cohabit without very strong relationship bonds in the first place. The marriage may not have been any momentous decision -- just one they drifted into. Because the relationships were not overly committed to begin with, clearly the marriage is at more risk of ending in divorce.

Conservatism

It can be argued that those who do not cohabit before marriage are generally more morally conservative than those who do. Therefore they are less likely to be divorced. They place a higher value on the institution and perhaps will endure a greater degree of marital strain than others before -- if at all -- succumbing to divorce. Those who do cohabit could be seen to be of a more liberal persuasion and will be inherently more inclined to treat divorce as a less important act than others.

Expectation

People who cohabit before marriage may have unrealistic expectations of what marriage is all about. They may have an unrealistic, "rose-tinted" view of marriage and believe that once the act is done their previously shaky or fractious relationship will settle into a phase of domestic bliss. They may be very surprised to discover that after marriage not much has changed because the fundamental underlying causes of their poor relationship have not been changed.


Source

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Space in a Relationship

Being clingy, or overly needing your boyfriend's attention, is likely to make him feel suffocated. Learn to step back and give him some breathing space, for your boyfriend's good and for your relationship's as well. Giving space is about trusting your boyfriend and allowing him to have a life of his own and to celebrate his individuality. Recognize the warning signs of your clinginess before the situation turns worse and you end up losing your boyfriend and a relationship that could've been beautiful.


Include "his time without me" into your daily routine. Make it a rule to leave your boyfriend alone during this time. Allow him to think alone, hang out with friends or pursue whatever that interests him during this time. Realize that by doing this, you'll give him more things to share with you, which you can add to your list of personal moments.


Allow your boyfriend exclusive time alone with his friends regularly. Let your boyfriend spend his time with his friends while you spend it with yours, each planning your own activities. For example, your boyfriend could go to a local football game while you spend time shopping; or your boyfriend and his company could laze out in front of a TV at home while you spend a spa day with your friends.


Learn to read your boyfriend's moods and preferences to understand when he needs his space. For example, imagine you are in a romantic mood and hug your boyfriend but you don't feel him being enthusiastic or even interested, let alone responding to your gesture; this is a sign to back off and give him his space. Understand that by being adamant and refusing to respect your boyfriend's back-off signs, you are being selfish; by giving space you prevent ending up in a fight, and chances are high that your boyfriend will seek you out once his mood changes.


Source

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Move on...

Break-ups can be difficult and painful, but the important thing to remember is that a break up is not the end of the world. Sometimes a break-up can even be a good thing because it will give you a chance to re-evaluate your life, and maybe even lead you to find someone more suitable. The truth is, that you can move on after a break-up no matter how bad it may have been.

1. Give yourself plenty of time to heal and recuperate. Remember that time heals all wounds. Put away pictures, gifts or any mementos that remind you of your ex. It is natural to experience feelings of denial, but do your best to resist the urge to call your ex and ask to get back together. Immediately after a break-up, you are at your most vulnerable state, so be careful not to get into a rebound relationship that may prove to be a mistake. Avoid some of the pitfalls, such as drowning your sorrows in alcohol, and instead channel all of your energy into positive activities that make you feel good about yourself.

2. Surround yourself with friends and loved ones. Talk about how you're feeling and allow them to comfort you and offer you advice. A break-up can be a very lonely experience, so surrounding yourself with others you love and trust will help to erase some of the loneliness. Don't try to deal with the experience all by yourself. Go out and meet new people, rebuild old relationships, network and immerse yourself into social situations. Keep yourself busy doing things you enjoy with the people you love, and don't dwell on the past.

3.Go out and have fun. Don't stay home and sulk, as it will only make you feel more miserable. Round up a group of friends and hit the town. Do something fun and exciting, such as a night of dancing or bar hopping. Plan a weekend beach or camping trip or take a quick out-of-town getaway. Going out with friends will remind you that being single can be just as fun as being in a relationship. It will also help to keep your mind off your ex.

4. Take some time off for yourself and get away from the world for a while. Use this time to reflect on your life and expectations for the future. Enjoy your time alone with relaxing activities such as reading, taking long baths, watching your favorite movies or engaging in a favorite hobby or pastime. Basically, take this time to do whatever makes you feel the most relaxed and calm. Clear your mind of all negative feelings to help you slowly let go of any lingering bitterness.

5. Start dating again. After you have given yourself adequate time to get over your last relationship, consider getting back into the dating game. Allow yourself to fall in love again and enjoy the start of a new relationship. Be careful to not rush things and take the time to really let your partner into your life. Take care not to be consumed in this new union, or any other relationship, for that matter--you never know when another break-up may happen.

Whatever you do, don't let a break-up get you down. Remember that everyone experiences break-ups regardless of age, race, class or social status. Even celebrities go through bad break-ups, so don't let the end of a relationship destroy your self-esteem.

Credit: http://www.ehow.com

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Sapatos.

Naaalala ko noong nagpunta kami sa mall para bumili ng isang pares ng sapatos. Sa tinagal-tagal ng pamimili ko, nahirapan talaga akong mamili ng sapatos na gusto ko talaga. Hanggang sa may nakita na nga akong sapatos na nakaagaw ng pansin ko.

Maganda. Mukhang matibay. Japorms.

Dali-dali kong pinuntahan yon at kinuha. Makalipas ang ilang sandali, sinubukan ko nang isukat yon. Nung isinusukat ko na, masikip, maliit, at masakit sa paa. Sinubukan kong pilit na pagkasyahin sa akin dahil yun ang sapatos na gusto ko talaga.

Sa pagpupumilit kong pagkasyahin ang sapatos na yon ay napagod rin ako. Hanggang sa narealize ko ang isang bagay:

Matuto tayong makuntento.

“Marami pang iba sa paligid ang hindi natin napapansin. Nagbubulag-bulagan lang tayo sa mga bagay na akala natin ay maganda. Huwag nating ipilit ang mga bagay na hindi nilikha para sa atin. Yun kasi kadalasan ang dahilan kung bakit tayo nasasaktan.”

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If we always feel cheated in a relationship this is a must read…

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!”

CREDITS TO: http://www.astorytoshare.com

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Away-bati (Martyr Nyebera)

A Valentine's Day Special...

by: Jocelle Dela Cruz

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TOP 25 RELATIONSHIP TIPS

1. Without quality time, your relationship will not survive. Carve out at least half an hour a night, and at least one day a month when you the two of you spend time exclusively together.

2. You will both need security, comfort. A good relationship is built on compromise and a great deal of give and take on both sides.

3. Keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell and show your partner how much you need him, but don't cling, as that can make your partner feel trapped.

4. Encourage him to listen to you, by showing appreciation when he does. By the same token, show interest when he talks to you. Be aware that most men aren't mentally programmed for conversation in the way women are. They need more silence and internal time.

5. Make him appreciate you. Don't wait for a spontaneous compliment, but say something good about yourself and ask for his agreement.

6. Teach him, preferably early in your relationship, exactly how to give you a fail-safe orgasm because it's unlikely he'll find out alone. If you don't yet know yourself, find out.

7. Learn to do the one thing that is most likely to restore good feeling in your relationship - giving your partner a genuine, loving and approving smile.

8.Often those subtle quirks that first attracted you to your partner can, with time, turn around and become toe-curlingly annoying habits. Learn to love him, warts and all.

9. Hidden resentments poison a relationship; so if something bothers you, say it. Remember that while men are wary of emotional conversations, they love to find solutions. Express your problem and then ask him to help you find the answer.

10. Learn that punishing your partner won't work. It may make you feel better to give him a hard time, but it will actually make him dig his heels in more. A better tactic is to reward the things you like and ignore what you don't like.

11. Money is the number one cause of couple conflict. For a relationship to work, you need to address your finances and work out a budget. You could also read Stop Fighting About Money by Corinne Sweet (Hodder & Stoughton,£6.99)

12. If the domestic work is not divided fairly between you, it will cause friction in your relationship. Make a list of the domestic tasks, talk it through with your partner and mobilise the whole family, your partner included, to share the work.

13. If you have children, involve your partner as much as possible with the childcare - even if you feel he's not as good as it at you are. It's important to present a united front to your children.

14. Sort out your sex life. The sex may ebb and flow over the years, but if sex starts going downhill, don't just accept it. As soon as you notice a slide, question why and then work at bringing the passion back.

15. Don't assume you won't be tempted to have an affair as almost everyone is. You need to learn to resist. If you do stray, don't feel it spells the end of your relationship. Most couples recover, particularly from a one-night-stand, and often find that unrooting the cause of the affair helps them to get even closer. So, you need to learn to resist. But don't think that an affair is the end of everything.

16. Remember that boredom typically covers up anger. If you feel bored with him, ask yourself what you're angry about.

17. Be aware that men generally feel overwhelmed by emotion more than women do. If he's angry or tearful, half an hour's 'unflooding' time to himself will help get his balance back and make him more able to interact positively with you.

18. Learn how to argue well. The trick is to never say anything that you wouldn't want to hear said to you. For extra help, read my book, Stop Arguing Start Talking (Vermilion, £6.99).

19. Research suggests you need five positive experiences to erase the memory of one negative experience. So give five kind words for each bitchy comment. Give five hugs for each cold shoulder.

20. Learn how to negotiate. Each of you states what you want, then both of you work together to find a way forward. Read, Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher (Arrow, £8.99).

21. Accept the things that won't change. Some characteristics about your partner are there for life - and you have to face that.

22. Learn to forgive. If you know you will never forgive your partner over something important, then give him - and yourself - a break and start again, with someone else.

23. Realise that the two of you will shift and change over the years. So, even if you think you understand him, or believe you have agreements sorted, check regularly - at least once a year - to make sure that neither of you has changed your mind.

24. Know when to leave. If your life aims are incompatible, there are heavy drugs or violence around, or if there is consistently more pain than pleasure, then walk before the relationship destroys you.

25. Don't think that going to counselling equals failure. It can turn a bad relationship around. It can turn an average relationship into a brilliant one.

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7 Undeniable Facts About Making Your Relationship Work

Fact #1: You can’t have a relationship, a real relationship, if you don’t communicate with each other. One way street is not the way to build relationship… unless it’s with yourself.

Fact #2: To accept the other person into your life, you have to open yourself up to that person. You have to meet and interact with that person. Living in emotional ivory tower simply isn’t going to work.

Fact #3: Relationships involves investing emotions, not just a mere list of “To Do”. You have to put in your feelings. Passion is like added spice to a bland dish, and so is shared intimacy to different degrees. Giving flowers or cards just because it’s a scheduled task on your organizer can only get you superficial gestures in return.

Fact #4: To build quality relationship, you have to willingly share good times and bad times with each other. Every time you are together, its in the ups or the downs of your life. Let it be shared with the worthy one. Fair weathered people not allowed here.

Fact#5: Being in a relationship does require you to both compromise sometimes. You will have to adjust to each other, making time and taking in differing viewpoints.

Each individual will end up shaping the other. Our life experiences and character will be infused within the lifestyle of the other. If no compromise is made, then it will be like a rock ramping against a brick. Never expect to be unchanged by someone you truly love.

Fact #6: To make it work long term, your values and beliefs must be accepted or the least, appreciated by each other. Otherwise, it will be full of turmoil within. A simple flutter of life’s waving hands and it will crumple.

Fact #7: Relationships involve changes and hence incur risk. Understand that everybody changes and nothing will always be the same. But you have to accept the risk as part of life and in relationship.

Yet the irony is, you can’t build a truly real relationship by being ‘safe’. Risk is sometimes what makes a relationship worth having and pursuing. It’s what makes relationships so alluring and beautiful.

Go on, strive to make it work. Make, not just your life, but also your relationship excel beyond excellence.

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How to Be a Good Girlfriend

1. Be honest. While being honest to your guy is very important, to the point of being paramount, it is equally important that you are honest with yourself. If you overreact or make a mistake, you can acknowledge your error and apologize. If you're feeling vulnerable or upset, you can sort through your feelings and verbalize them to him in a non-accusing way. And the most important here, is that you will open your feelings as much as possible. For example, if someone crushes you, tell him immediately for you two not to have problems as much as possible.
2. Have a positive attitude. If everything you say around him is a criticism or an attack, he will not look forward to seeing you. However, you don't always have to agree with him just because he is your boyfriend. Tactfulness is a better strategy in mature relationships. No matter what, have a good sense of humor. Have inside jokes together. Be spontaneous. Be happy.
3. Make your desires, needs, and opinions known, even when they may conflict with his. You don't and shouldn't exist solely to please him. Besides, showing that you are your own person with your own needs, desires, and approach to life will keep him interested in getting to know and understand you as a person. Just remember to express yourself in way that doesn't attack anyone else's opinion or lifestyle in any way--you can be humble and outspoken at the same time.
4. Take an interest in his interests. Remember his interests and topics of conversation. You don't have to act like you love his hobbies, but at least try to understand why he's such a fan. If he loves a band, understand why. If he just loves to be playful and immature, remember that it might just be his way of releasing stress.
   • Make him something. A paper flower, an artsy heart, something creative that reflects your personality, so whenever he looks at it he'll think of you and smile. If you the musical type, or play an instrument, feel free to play him some songs (bonus points if you play a song you wrote yourself!). Watch him melt and he will remember this for a long time.
5. Let him live his life. If you feel entitled to all of his time and attention, learn how to not be an obsessive girlfriend. Don't be an "over protective girlfriend" let him go out without him feeling watched. Remember that he doesn't need you for everything and that you are separate people as well as a couple. When he needs some space, don't take it personally. But do make sure he knows that you are always there for him.
6. Be yourself Don't lie to impress him, don't try to make him jealous, don't lead him on if you're not into everything. Those things are wrong, and if you feel the need to do that then you don't know the meaning of a true relationship. Be honest and open with him. If the two of you are mature then you will handle it correctly.
7. Be seductive. Don't be afraid to be seductive. Men find it irresistible when a girl is sexy, classy, and confident. Remember - confidence is the ultimate type of sexy, and guys pick up on that.
8. Don't be insecure about your appearance. If he's dating you he obviously thinks you're attractive.
9. It's all about giving. Boys love to receive gifts and it shows that he means a lot to you. Don't overdo it though, you don't want him to think you're crazy!
10. Dominance. When you're out on a dinner date and he offers to pay, refuse. It shows that you aren't just in it for his money.
11. Affection. There are various ways to show your affection, some are more obvious than others. Men sometimes like it when a girl gives them a pet name. eg: Baby or Sweetheart. Try not to overdo this, however. This can be a major turn-off if you call them Mr. Cuddle-Bear. Also, communication is a vital part of a relationship (obviously) so make sure that he knows how much you like him. Constant lovey dovey texts and emails can be a plus, but too many will become overwhelming and you may seem clingy. They do show you're into him, and you want it to last forever, but don't come on so much that you scare him!

TIPS:

• As in any healthy relationship, you will have your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of teamwork and a symbiotic relationship, not a parasitic one, where a party gives and the other one just takes without giving enough back.
• If your boyfriend is acting passive towards you, it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you. It most likely means he is shy and has never been in a relationship before and just doesn't know how to act. To solve this problem you can talk to him about acting that way. Perhaps he's expecting you to take more initiative, because you have had more experience with relationships than he has.
• Avoid having a "one track" relationship in which the bond revolves around one thing. Keep your relationship strong by bringing variety and diversity into the relationship. Try different and new things together. Relationships are about having fun together, learning together and growing together.
• Don't let your friends try to manage your relationship. It's your relationship and no one else's. You don't have to listen to every piece of advice from your friends if you don't want to.
• Don't always criticize men, it doesn't go well, however constructive criticism has its place.
• Let him know he's right when he is.
• Don't forget that he has a life of his own. Just because he didn't call you back for 10 minutes doesn't mean he's been cheating. You cannot be his one and only focus all the time.
• Don't ever let him tell you how to live your life. Don't let him pressure you and be open about things. But don't tell him how to live his life either.
• Don't try to change him. Just Let him know things that you like,if he loves you he will try to do it next time.
• Don't avoid him/be shy of him, when he wears an outfit that you don't prefer,you can buy for him something that you will adore him to put it on. I'm sure next time you will find changes ,don't be too open by telling him What have you worn today!

WARNINGS:

• Do NOT flirt with his friends! No matter how hot they are to you, you need to assure him that he is the only guy for you.
• Don't be annoying.
• Never lie.
• Don't look at his phone.
• Don't conduct "secret tests" on your boyfriend to see what he'll do. It's humiliating, disrespectful and unfair, and you wouldn't want him to do that to you. The same goes for coercing your boyfriend with sex.
• It's fine to share things with your girlfriends when talking about him, but remember to be respectful of him by not sharing things that are embarrassing, confidential or rude. (Don't kiss and tell!) You can keep your girlfriends "updated" on how the relationship is going, but keep them from getting involved in your relationship, unless abuse or other dangerous activities are taking place, in which case tell them everything. But if you decide you want to share private information about the relationship, make sure he is allowed to do the same with his friends; but don't let him talk about you like an object.
• Jealousy is a very dangerous thing. Don't intentionally make him jealous. That will result with a lot of problems and difficulties within your relationship.
• Try to get along with his friends and family. These are most likely things that mean a lot to him, and him having good opinions about you from people he cares about will mean a lot. Try making friends with his friends and his siblings. Make sure you're respectful to his parents and make sure they like you. Try doing little things like becoming close with his mom or going shopping with his sister.
• Boys feel insecure and like compliments too!
• Don't just be honest, but be open with things as well. Don't leave things unsaid, even if it can be awkward, because this can lead to problems in your relationship down the road.
• Don't go out with a guy who you never talk to in person and only talk to on the phone or instant message. Then the guy will think you are scared to talk to him in person or you just don't care about the relationship.
• Communicate effectively- say exactly, to the point, what is on your mind. That way there are no guessing games.

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Tips on Making a Relationship Work

• Love is the most important thing for a relationship. There's no "maybe" about love; you should know if you love someone. You enjoy sharing with each other anything and everything, you respect and trust each other, you're always honest with each other, you enjoy spending time and having special moments with each other, the good times outnumber the bad times, you're there for each other, you have great conversations, you're close on almost every level possible, you can balance the time you spend together and the time you spend apart, you can balance the time you do have together on emotional activities and conversations with the physical activities and conversations. You would do anything for each other and protect each other, you're kind to each other and show affection, and you spend time out of choice, not dependency
• There is always somewhere to go and something to do with each other as a date, so be creative and search around for ideas on what to do and where to go.
• Remember, if you're boyfriend and girlfriend, basically anywhere you go together and anything you do together is a date. Have fun and bond with each other.
• Have Saturday or Friday "date nights" for you as a couple (basically a weekly date) if you're in high school.
• If you're in college, talk over your schedules and have a weekly date night too.
• If you're not in college or high school (adult) then work around your work schedules and carve out special time for just you two once a week as well.
• Use relationship resources to help your relationship - e.g., books (Relationships For Dummies, The Complete Idiot's Guide To A Healthy Relationship, Emotional Fitness For Couples). Also - there are relationship therapists, counselors, and psychologists who can help.

WARNINGS :

• A relationship should be healthy, caring, loving, kind, upbeat, and positive. It should make your life better. If your life feels trying, upsetting, and worrisome, and even more so when you spend time with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it may be time to reassess.
• Infatuation generally lasts for 2 years as studies show. Keep this in mind, and if your relationship manages to be 2 years or more, then chances are you two have something that is more than skin deep.

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How to Make a Relationship Work

Decide to love. Infatuation is typically what sparks loving relationships, but the excitement fades and warm feelings diminish unless both partners make conscious efforts to uphold their companionship. Once love is established in a relationship, actively expressing love to each other will maintain and increase the loving feelings in both partners. Conversely, refraining from expressions of love allows one's devotion to dissipate. If you are aiming for a long-lasting, successful marriage, you need to commit to your partner's emotional well-being, even when it isn't easy.

Communicate about anything and everything. Have deep and meaningful conversations once in a while. Discuss what's going on in your lives right now, whether social life, school life, or family life, and learn about each other's pasts and childhoods. Celebrate accomplishments, encourage goals and ambitions, and explore each other's values and beliefs. Share your deepest thoughts, needs, wishes, hopes, and dreams. Know each other inside and out.

Establish trust on all levels. Mutual trust is founded in respect and loyalty toward each other. Strive to understand and respect your differences. Share and clarify your differing perspectives, and try to empathize with each other's point of view. In some cases, it is better to simply agree to have differences of opinion or your own ways of doing things. Pressuring your partner to do something that they really don't want to do, or neglecting or abusing them (whether emotionally, verbally, physically, or sexually) undermines your ability to trust and rely on one another. You should be able to trust each other in everything, keeping private your partner's innermost secrets, fears, and struggles.

Support each other. Be there through the good, happy, sad, and bad times—no matter what. Be willing to provide hugs, kisses, and emotional comfort in all circumstances. If your partner resists your attempts to comfort them and declines to talk about it, you should ease off of the subject and wait until they seem to be in a better mood before returning to it. Feel like you can count on each other; be reliable and loyal, and be emotionally available when you need each other most.

Be completely honest with each other. A truly emotionally intimate relationship requires open and honest communication. Keeping secrets from your partner creates a barrier between you that limits your mutual emotional trust. Honesty can be scary, but if you want your relationship to thrive, then you both need to become comfortable discussing your feelings, insecurities, and frustrations.

Spend time together. Carve out date times for togetherness as a couple. Spend time talking with each other and going out on dates, and doing other relationship-building activities. Really get to know each other and build a connection between you that's strong and enduring. Make an effort to see each other (in-person) and talk on the phone maybe once a day or every few days.

Spend time apart. Be independent and keep your sense of self, never losing yourself or your voice in the relationship. Don't suffocate each other. You should each continue to grow as individuals—not just as a couple. You should have your own space, too—physically and emotionally. Do your own things separately once in a while. Spend time with friends and family, and by yourself pursuing hobbies and other things. Just ensure that no other relationship or pursuit crowds out your partner from being your first priority.

Settle disputes peacefully. Apologize, forgive, and make up with each other. If you threaten to break up with each other after every fight or argument, you will never really resolve anything. Take breaking up off the table. Talk through disagreements as long or as many times as it takes until the issue is resolved and both of you feel comfortable moving forward.

Keep most things private between you two. When your partner shares with you and confides in you (emotionally and physically),especially when they share something about another person; resist the urge to disclose sensitive details to anyone without permission. You should treat it as something special, personal and private between you two, out of respect for your partner. A relationship is between two people—you and your girlfriend or boyfriend (or spouse), not anyone else. Don't involve others in intimate matters, however close you may feel to them.

Make continual efforts to maintain your relationship. Work on it. Work hard at keeping it positive, upbeat, healthy, and the very best it can be. Work on it every single day. Whatever you can do to improve your relationship or make it healthier, do it! Try thinking about, and then doing, at least one thing each day that will make life a little easier, brighter, or better for your other half. By challenging yourself to do at least one nice thing for your partner every single day, you stay focused on keeping your love front and center.

Be romantic. Romance is essential to have at least some of the time. Candles, candlelight, compliments, stargazing, watching the stars, sunset or sunrise, fireworks, romantic bubblebaths, showers, and romantic dinners are good ideas. Make some things you do and some places you decide to go to on dates romantic.

Remember that every person, couple, and relationship is different. Don't compare your relationship to anyone else's—not your parents or other family members, friends, coworkers, that couple whose relationship seems perfect, etc. Every couple makes their own love rules, love agreements, love habits, love routines, and so on. Just focus on you two and making your relationship the best that it can be.

Show affection. Hold hands, kiss, hug, cuddle, snuggle, or wrap arms around shoulders or waists. Become close and really comfortable with each other physically and emotionally. Share every part of yourself (your heart, mind, and soul), not just your body.

Remember that intensity of emotion can ebb and flow over the years. There may be times when you are less aware of your loving feelings, more into your own interests, perhaps things have even become a little become very selfish and routine. Those are the times to remember all the wonderful things you have done together, and still want to do. You choose to feel committed and close, so when you feel yourself drifting or taking your love one for granted or even becoming unkind or disrespectful, plan a romantic date night, do something special for your love, and just remind yourself of all the wonderful qualities he or she possesses that made you fall in love in the first place.

See family as one, not two. Include each other in decisions. One's worry is the other's, because both will be affected by it.

Make sure you're there for your partner no matter what, if they call you then answer your phone, if they text you then reply. Do not avoid or be distant from your partner as this will cause them concern as to weather or not you're serious about them and could lead them to feeling a sense of not trusting you.

Never cheat or be disloyal. Whatever you do behind your partner's back, imagine them doing it to you. Treat others how you want to be treated.

Never be selfish, Your wants and needs are just as important as your partner's, if you give nothing of yourself, then you'll get nothing in return. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Actions speak louder than words.

Don't play games or intentionally act distant to seek control over your partner. This is a form of abuse. If your partner speaks to you, reply with compassion. Never stay silent and avoid them.

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How To Survive When Relationship Breaks Down

Relationship is a beautiful feeling and a wonderful experience. One tends the relationship as one cares for a tender plant. One gives ones whole being to the relationship. The breakdown therefore becomes unbearable. How to survive relationship breakdown?

1. Stop Thinking About why?

Most of the people who suffer with breakdown of relationship keep thinking about the reasons. They analyze again and again. Their mind keeps thinking of the reasons the relationship broke down. They speak to their family and friends and seek their opinion. Sometimes they find that their partner was guilty and other times they blame themselves. This is an unending process. There is no use analyzing the reasons. At least do not do that immediately after the breakdown. You can peacefully do that after about a year to make an unemotional analysis.

2. Do things differently-

I have observed that all of us have habit of doing our daily chores in the same way everyday. Watch when you step out of your home. Which leg do you lift first? You will do this everyday. Similarly watch the way you brush your teeth, your sleeping position, the way you wear your clothes. You will find that you have programmed yourself to do everything in the same way everyday. When you have a relationship breakdown, try reversing all the orders. If it is your left leg that you lift first while walking, lift your right leg. You will be surprised at the new experience of doing everything differently. This breaks the monotony of life and gives mind a new direction in thinking.

It is not very easy to survive breakdown easily. The higher the attraction, the higher will be the shock. The closer you are, the break up will give you more shock. Some out of us expect the relationship to break sooner or later. They are pessimists and call themselves practical. These people are never surprised if the relationship breaks. They may wonder about the reasons but will not suffer trauma. On the other extreme, we have some people who believe that they are made for each other and that the relationship, the loyalty and the faithfulness will last for the life and if possible beyond. Such people are vulnerable to pain and may need psychiatric help.

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Tips on How to Save Your Relationship From a Break Up

For saving your relationship from a break up, the first thing that you need to do is to talk to your partner. There is no conflict or issue in a relationship, which cannot be resolved through talking. If you are not talking to each other, then I suggest that you take the initiative and call your partner. Remember, ego should never ever come in between love. At the same time, when you do talk to your partner, don't sound or look desperate. Do not beg them to stay in the relationship. Instead, simply call up and see whether he/she wants to meet you. If he says yes, consider it a positive sign. If he says no, ask how he is doing and make some small talk. Wait for about a week and then again ask him out. Do not rush things as it will show how desperate you are. Instead, be in control of the situation, by acting maturely and patiently.

Presuming that you two are on talking terms again and your partner has agreed to meet you, the next thing that you both should do is to sit together and analyze what went wrong in the relationship. Here, an important tip to save your relationship from breaking up is to discuss things and not blame one another. Respect, trust, love and open communication, these are the hallmarks of a successful relationship. So, treat your partner with respect and listen to their viewpoint with an open mind. Arrive at the reasons which drove both of you apart and then find solutions for the same together.

Generally, it is seen that relationships fall apart when the partners are not able to give time to one another. With the hectic lifestyles that most of us lead these days, it is no wonder that partners hardly get one to one time on a daily basis. Many of us spend more time with our colleagues as compared to our own spouses. The result? Breakdown of relationships at home and the tendency towards having flings with co-workers or anyone else a person comes in contact with while out of home. So, to avoid all these and to save your relationship, spend quality time with your partner. Go on romantic dates and holidays as you used to when you first fell in love. Join a dance or any other hobby class together so that you can have fun in each other's company. This will certainly help in improving the bond that you two share.

Sometimes, relationships get strained if one of the persons is over possessive and jealous. Both these can be detrimental to one's relationships. Every man and woman in a relationship should remember that the other person has a life beyond the relationship. Respecting each other's space, giving them an opportunity to be themselves and explore various things in life, rather than constraining them, can actually build a strong foundation of trust in the relationship.

Lastly, if things are really out of hand and you two have some issues for which you can't find a solution, it is best that you go in for relationship counseling. A counselor will talk to both of you individually as well as a couple. He can get to the bottom of why you are experiencing problems and suggest some good solutions for the same.

For a relationship to be successful, both the partners should be physically, emotionally and intellectually compatible. Have a frank talk amongst yourself, try to understand what is lacking in your relationship and then work on it. As mentioned earlier, having fun together is extremely important too. So, try adventure sports or read together or go on a holiday. These things will definitely strengthen your bond. In the end, it would pay to keep in mind that some relationships work and some don't. So, even if you two are not able to make your relationship a success, do not be disheartened. Keep an open mind and remember - whatever happens in life, happens for the best!

By Aastha Dogra
Published: 5/12/2011

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How to Survive the Relationship Struggle

Most people have a fantasy about relationships. It goes something like this:

One day they'll meet their ideal partner. This person will understand them completely and will easily connect with them. There'll be no arguments. Everything will be perfect. Magic will happen and continue forever.

The reality of relationships, you know, is quite different. An intimate relationship is one of the most powerful opportunities for personal growth. And growth -- even for the most transformed person -- often brings pain. But it also brings incredible joy. Relationships are akin to life -- sometimes sublime and sometimes challenging, and, as with life, the amount of satisfaction you derive depends on how much you're willing to move outside of your comfort zone.

Sometime between three and 12 months into a relationship, a couple enters a period of struggle. During this time, the couple begins having disagreements and one or both partners blame the difficulties on the other. This period lasts approximately one year, depending on the individuals. In my coaching practice I've seen this happen to every couple -- without exception.

What's actually happening is that the couple is establishing the rules of conduct for the relationship. Each partner, having grown up in a different family culture, has different conduct rules. Since these rules are subconscious, neither is aware they're enforcing their own standards. For example, a woman may have been raised in a family where feelings were not expressed and communicating her feelings was scorned. Her partner was raised in a family with excessive emotional closeness and sharing. While she may not expect any emotional expression and sharing in the relationship, her partner does.

The couple's task during this period is to create a shared set of rules that are independent of their respective family dynamics. Each one must look inside and discover what they want from this relationship, which requires a strong commitment to the it and detachment from family patterns.

Without realizing it, most people are deeply loyal to their family patterns and beliefs. Each partner will believe that his approach is the correct one. If and when the other partner does not comply, he will be made wrong and attempts will be made to force compliance.

This period in the relationship is frustrating and painful and it's the point where most relationships end. The key ingredient to the survival of the relationship is the willingness of each partner to grow. Both must be willing to rework their rules of conduct and meet in the middle. If one partner becomes unwilling to grow and change, the relationship is functionally over. A vital, dynamic, loving partnership cannot exist when one partner exerts his will over the other. The relationship will eventually end with both people deeply wounded.

Relationships are not the way they are portrayed in fairy tales, but the true beauty of relationships is that they're an opportunity for each partner to transform. Growth will be painful at times because it will require each partner to go beyond what they already know about relationships. And if you're unwilling to look within yourself and move outside your comfort zone, stay single and date casually. But, if you're willing to grow, you'll reap the benefits of a dynamic, loving partnership.

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Dear Future Husband, (whoever you might be)

Can I call you nicknames, like maybe ‘Hubby’?
I’d like to be able to do that with you
And so many other things after I say ‘I do’.
But can you accept me just the way I am?
Because otherwise our love will be a sham.
And I may be the weirdest person you will have ever met,
I just hope and pray that you don’t give up on me yet.
Will you love me no matter what, through thick or thin?
Will you love me for what I have within?
I know, when I find you, I will love you unconditionally
There’s nothing I won’t love; you’ll be perfect to me.
I can’t wait to see you, meet you, and know you will be mine
And when I’m with you, everyone will see my face shine.
I can picture you now, with your beautiful smile,
Holding out your arms to me with teasing as your style.
Your eyes will sparkle when you see me because you can’t wait
To hold me again, pull me close and tell me, “You’re late,
Where have you been all my life? It’s you I’ve been missing.”
And I’ll say, “Don’t worry silly, I haven’t been evading,
I was only at the store, but I’m back for you now.”
And maybe you’ll smile your smile and ask me how
I didn’t miss you while I was gone; wouldn’t that be fun?
Just making jokes with each other every so often?
I think together we would just be so great
And whenever I’m with you, it’s happiness we create.
Sadly, I don’t know when I’ll be able to find you
But when I do, I know it will be true.
I just hope that I can find you soon
And then Love, we can walk under the moon.
But tell me, are you having trouble waiting for me also?
Hoping you’ll just wake up and find me tomorrow?
Well, I promise you’ll find me in a tomorrow someday
We will meet in a place, in a time, somehow, someway.
But until that time, I’ll be hoping and waiting to see you then,
Wondering if perhaps I’ve met you and can see you again.
So farewell, wait for me, and think of me some
Because we will be together on a day soon to come.
And remember, I will always love you
And I’m waiting for you too.

Sincerely,
Your loving Wifey

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